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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph below shows the avarage monthly temperatures in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The line graph below shows the avarage monthly temperatures in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
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The graph depicts the amount of monthly temperatures in three different cities;
Paris
Use synonyms
, Dubai and
Sydney
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, measured in
Celcius
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 from January to December.
Overall
Linking Words
, both
of
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apply
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Paris
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 and
dubai
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Dubai
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 temperatures were increased except for
Sydney
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 which decreased. Interestingly, the temperature of
Sydney
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 city outraced both
of
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apply
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Paris
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 and
dubai
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Dubai
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at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, the amount of temperature in
Sydney
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 began at 24
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celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
,
then
Linking Words
 decreased
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
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at
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apply
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12
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celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
 which
then
Linking Words
 surpassed
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Paris
Change noun form
Paris's
Pari's
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 temperature at 16
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celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
 in
Change the capitalization
October
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october
Change the capitalization
October
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, after that outraced
again
Correct pronoun usage
it again
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Submitted by pondzaxdxd55xdxd1 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words paris, sydney, celcius with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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