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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by the teacher where as other argue that homework please an important role in education of children discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #school #children #homework #teacher #role #education
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Homework
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 mainly given to the
children
Use synonyms
 so that they will not spend their
time
Use synonyms
. Some
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 believe that educational institutions should not give any
homework
Use synonyms
assignment
Fix the agreement mistake
assignments
show examples
 to the pupils.
Linking Words
While
Correct word choice
On
show examples
on the other hand
Linking Words
, some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 appoint that humorick
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 significant role in
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 learning. As per as I am concerned, I believe home
assignment
Fix the agreement mistake
assignments
show examples
 make
sil
Correct your spelling
me
 and more creative
also
Linking Words
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
limited
time
Use synonyms
 to waste.
To begin
Linking Words
 with the most prominent reason
,
Add a missing verb
is, homework
show examples
Use synonyms
homework
Correct determiner usage
that homework
show examples
 head to learn to think and solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 either by using their own creativity or asking parents.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they have
a tasks
Correct the article-noun agreement
a task
tasks
show examples
 to complete.
As a result
Linking Words
 of it, they start to think and try to solve all the
question
Fix the agreement mistake
questions
show examples
 on their own which will enhance the level of memory.
Additionally
Linking Words
, when
children
Use synonyms
 have
same
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
 more work to do they will spend very little
time
Use synonyms
 playing and watching.
Thus
Linking Words
, they value their
time
Use synonyms
for example
Linking Words
 it is often found that
chulin
Correct your spelling
children
 usually
as in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
outside more only
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 weekends as week days they have
homework
Use synonyms
 to complete.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a group of
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 tend to believe that, child should have their free
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 home those days
shouldn't
Correct word choice
and shouldn't
show examples
 have any
assignment
Fix the agreement mistake
assignments
show examples
. They should be allowed to do their own happiness.
Children
Use synonyms
 should be given
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 to enjoy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
view
Correct word choice
and view
show examples
 the world other than school and home. They can be made
engage
Fix the infinitive
to engage
show examples
 in various sports in which they can have a career too. Instance it is found that in many students
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
those who
are only involve
Change the verb form
are only involved
show examples
 in education are less interactive
as well as
Linking Words
least
Replace the word
less
show examples
 creative in comparison to those who allowed
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to have their own work. In conclusion, all those some people have different
assertion
Fix the agreement mistake
assertions
show examples
 on
this
Linking Words
 topic. I believe that
due to
Linking Words
homework
Use synonyms
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 can have more knowledge
as well as
Linking Words
 have very limited
time
Use synonyms
 that can be
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
unused.
Submitted by anjubashyal39 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction to guide the reader through your essay. This will also help in organizing your points better.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more logically to make it easier for the reader to follow your argument. For instance, clearly demarcate each paragraph for a specific point.
Task Response
Improve the expression of your ideas by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by explanations or examples.
Task Response
Include more specific examples to support your main points to enhance the depth of your argument.
Grammar & Vocabulary
Ensure that your language and grammar usage is more accurate to clearly convey your ideas and reduce misunderstandings.
Task Response
Your essay covers both perspectives on the topic, which is good for addressing the task requirements.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have successfully acknowledged different views on the topic, an important aspect of a balanced argument.
Task Engagement
The essay attempts to explain why homework is beneficial and why some think it should be limited. This shows a good effort in addressing the essay prompt.
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