As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problem that may result. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Recently , the advancement of
technology
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has replaced many
jobs
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which creates
a
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apply
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concern about some
jobs
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that will disappear like
teachers
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which affects employment opportunities . In
this
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essay, I will discuss some
jobs
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harm
due to
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technology
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and the problems that might cause.
To begin
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with , a significant effect on
jobs
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owing to
technology
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,
such
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as
teachers
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and accountants. These days there are various ways to access information anywhere and anytime which reflects negatively on
teachers
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' work , a good example of
that is
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in many countries the education system is based on technological development so students go to their school and Meet a huge screen Front of them with artificial intelligent which in turn provide the data they need to understand today's subject without any assist from real
teachers
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. One of the main issues that could caused by
technology
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is reducing job opportunities .
As a result
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, it can lead to an increase in the number of people unemployed,
in other
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words
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words,
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many people become poor and struggle to survive when the whole country relies on
technology
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it harms individuals and
lead
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leads
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to higher rates of committing crimes.
Moreover
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,it should not be overlooked that the impact on younger's ability to think and connect with human
teachers
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will be another issue.
To sum up
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,
this
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issue not only affects
jobs
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but
also
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various aspects of our lives,
therefore
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the drawbacks of relying on
technology
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and replacing it with humans outweigh the benefits so a balance is needed to avoid any future problems
Submitted by rwnalanezi on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using linking words or phrases can help in maintaining a coherent flow.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples or cases to strengthen your arguments. Drawing from real-world scenarios or statistics can make your points more compelling.
Task Achievement
Aim for deeper insights with clearer explanations. Delve into the implications of technological advancements on specific industries for a more comprehensive understanding.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a structured beginning and ending to the argument.
Task Achievement
You have identified relevant jobs and potential negative consequences related to technological advancement.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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