As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problem that may result. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#world #computers #jobs #job #positions

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Recently , the advancement of

technology

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has replaced many

jobs

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which creates

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apply

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concern about some

jobs

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that will disappear like

teachers

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which affects employment opportunities . In

this

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essay, I will discuss some

jobs

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harm

due to

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technology

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and the problems that might cause.

To begin

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with , a significant effect on

jobs

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owing to

technology

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such

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teachers

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and accountants. These days there are various ways to access information anywhere and anytime which reflects negatively on

teachers

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' work , a good example of

that is

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in many countries the education system is based on technological development so students go to their school and Meet a huge screen Front of them with artificial intelligent which in turn provide the data they need to understand today's subject without any assist from real

teachers

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. One of the main issues that could caused by

technology

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is reducing job opportunities .

As a result

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, it can lead to an increase in the number of people unemployed,

in other

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words

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words,

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many people become poor and struggle to survive when the whole country relies on

technology

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it harms individuals and

lead

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leads

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to higher rates of committing crimes.

Moreover

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,it should not be overlooked that the impact on younger's ability to think and connect with human

teachers

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will be another issue.

To sum up

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this

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issue not only affects

jobs

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but

also

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various aspects of our lives,

therefore

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the drawbacks of relying on

technology

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and replacing it with humans outweigh the benefits so a balance is needed to avoid any future problems

Submitted by rwnalanezi on Thu Jan 16 2025

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Coherence & Cohesion

Enhance the logical flow by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using linking words or phrases can help in maintaining a coherent flow.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples or cases to strengthen your arguments. Drawing from real-world scenarios or statistics can make your points more compelling.

Task Achievement

Aim for deeper insights with clearer explanations. Delve into the implications of technological advancements on specific industries for a more comprehensive understanding.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a structured beginning and ending to the argument.

Task Achievement

You have identified relevant jobs and potential negative consequences related to technological advancement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people support the idea of imposing taxes on fossil fuels (oil, coal, and gas) in order to reduce energy consumption. Others disagree with this approach. Consider the debate and its arguments, and come to your own conclusion

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In today's world many people own a smartphone do you thinh advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages

What are the advantages and disadvantages of using computers in education system?