IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Student should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass the exam, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#student #exam #skills
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Students
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 should only learn things that are required by
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
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while
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 other
skills
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,
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 cooking and dressing are considered
as
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apply
show examples
unnecessary.
This
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 essay
dissagree
Correct your spelling
disagree
disagrees
 with
this
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 statement since there are reasons why
students
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 should learn all these
alternative
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subjects
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.
Firstly
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, we cannot deny that knowledge in mainstream
subjects
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 like science and mathematics
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 important to pass the exams in traditional school curriculums.
However
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, nowadays, there are
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
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alternative
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of alternative
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 learning options for pupils to select
subjects
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according to
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 their interests and competence.
Since not
Correct word choice
Not
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 everyone would like to work in the field of
old-fashion
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old-fashioned
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 jobs,
for instance
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, accountant, doctor or teacher.
Moreover
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, these
alternative
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subjects
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 encourage creativity which is crucial to early-school year
students
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. They can help
students
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being
Wrong verb form
be
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 more adaptive if they are in
unfamiliar
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an unfamiliar
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situation
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situations
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,
for
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instance
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instance,
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 they get to choose
colors
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colours
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, shapes or
material
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materials
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 for their
art works
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artworks
show examples
.
Additionally
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, there
are
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is
show examples
 high demand
in
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for
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 leisure activities,
therefore
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
skills
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 in creativity like cake decorating and clay arts are highly demanded among young generations,
for example
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, in Bangkok, unique-decorated coffee shops and art workshops are
extreamly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 popular and there are located
almost
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in almost
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 every subway stations. In conclusion, learning
skills
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to have
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 score for the exams are important same as learning
alternative
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
 that require creativity.
Submitted by panida.phran on

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coherence cohesion
Work on clearly organizing paragraphs by introducing clear topic sentences and providing relevant examples directly linked to each argument.
task achievement
Make sure that the essay directly addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a balanced view or a well-supported single viewpoint.
task achievement
Ensure clarity and comprehensiveness by explaining how your examples support each point more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively states your position, setting up the reader to understand your perspective on the topic.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, such as the popularity of creative activities in Bangkok, effectively supports your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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