As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problem that may result. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Recently, the issue of some occupations
will be
Wrong verb form
being
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replaced
machines
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by machines
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has become the subject of heated debate. Some
people
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assert that technological
advancing
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advancement
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should not be replacing employers,
while
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others argue
otherwise
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. I wholeheartedly support the former hand. In the following essay, I will discuss
this
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contention before a conclusion is reached with my opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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hand, some
people
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insist that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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computers are not only
efficiency
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efficient
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but
also
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cost-low.
For instance
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, the companies must give the revenues to workers.
In contrast
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, the companies just charge the price of technological goods. Another compelling reason is that the machines can work
any time
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anytime
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, anywhere, even
holidays
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on holidays
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.
However
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, workers should
to
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apply
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rest on holidays. Given these reasons, some
people
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insist that technological
advancing
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advancement
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is more economical. In my opinion,
on the other hand
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, many
people
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may be lost their jobs because of technological
advancing
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advances
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such
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as computers and AI.
For example
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, teachers can be replaced
to
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by
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educational apps.
Moreover
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, bank employers can be replaced
to
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by
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apps
of
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for
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internet
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Internet
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bank
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banks
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.
In addition
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, when we go to
restaurant
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a restaurant
the restaurant
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, we can the robots.
People
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speak their menu to the robot.
As a result
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,
employment
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the employment
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rate in our society
tend
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tends
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to upward trend. It will make
people
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engage in poverty.
In addition
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, communication and interaction will decrease between
people
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and
people
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. In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are a variety of opinions about
this
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topic.
However
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, after considering
this
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matter in a careful manner, I firmly support the view that technological
advancing
Replace the word
advancement
show examples
should not be replacing employers.
Submitted by fdsajkloo on

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task response
To improve task response, make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and ensure the conclusion aligns with your initial stance. Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically to the next. Use more cohesive devices to link ideas effectively.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, setting the stage for your arguments and wrapping them up effectively.
supported main points
You raise relevant points about job replacement by technology, touching on both efficiency and economic aspects.
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