IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A local college is having an international day. You want to speak about your country to students from different cultures. Write a letter to the college head. In your letter: Tell him/her about the topics that you are going to talk about Explain why would they be of interest to the students Ask about any arrangements that you need to make to give the talk

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am Laksika Wirojtacha,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 senior student who
now
Add a missing verb
is now
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study
Wrong verb form
studying
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in
Change preposition
as
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 an Art history major
from
Change preposition
at
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 your university. I am writing to inform you that I am
interesting
Replace the word
interested
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 in being one of the
lecturer
Change to a plural noun
lecturers
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 who encourage others from different countries to get to know more about cultural diversity. I have heard a good reputation quite often about the international day event, which
give
Change the verb form
gives
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 an opportunity to all students to receive/share their side of their nations. In
this
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 regard, I
also
Linking Words
 come
with
Change preposition
up with
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 “the famous festival in Thailand” topic.
This
Linking Words
 topic going to have a quick brief explanation
about
Change preposition
of
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 popular
festival
Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
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 including Songkran, Loy Krathron, Rocket
festival
Capitalize word
Festival
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,
new year
Correct your spelling
New Year
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 and Chinese
new year festival
Correct your spelling
New Year Festival
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. My speaking will
be start
Change the verb form
start
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 with
an
Correct article usage
the
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 history of each festival as I
mention
Wrong verb form
mentioned
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 above, how we celebrate them
on
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in
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 the past and what aspects
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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we
adopt
Wrong verb form
adopted
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to the
modernize
Replace the word
modernised
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 way
due to
Linking Words
 time
pass
Correct subject-verb agreement
passes
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 by. I definitely believe that
every
Change the determiner
everyone
each
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 will enjoy and receive
a true information
Remove the article
true information
a piece of true information
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 because
at
Add the comma(s)
, at
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 the moment, Thailand become a popular destination option
among
Change preposition
in
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 the world. I’m looking forward to hearing from your prompt response.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
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 sincerely, Laksika W.

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grammar
Try to ensure all sentences are grammatically correct and clear. For example, 'who encourage others' should be changed to 'who encourages others'.
clarity
Clarify your intention more explicitly in the opening paragraph. Instead of saying 'I am interesting in being one of the lecturer', say 'I am interested in becoming a speaker'.
structure
Make sure to organize your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, and the transition between ideas should be smoother.
content
You have provided a relevant topic that is culturally significant, which adds interest for your audience.
engagement
Your enthusiasm for sharing your culture is evident and engaging, creating a personal touch to your letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • international day
  • cultural significance
  • regional specialties
  • festivals and holidays
  • tourist attractions
  • natural wonders
  • education system
  • technological advancements
  • global development
  • sports and leisure activities
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