Most people are worried about young children playing video games, what problems might these games cause as a whole to society and individuals? What solutions can you suggest to reduce these problems.

#people #children #video #games #society #individuals

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is undeniable that young people spend their leisure

time

Use synonyms

playing games and they become addicted every day.

this

Linking Words

phenomenon might cause some difficulties for societies nowadays because young people do not care about their environment.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the reasons behind

this

Linking Words

phenomenon and propose possible solutions to address it. in most cases, young generations have no intentions to socialize in real life, not only because of their habit

such

Linking Words

as playing games over

time

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

caused of their environment which is influenced by their

parents

Use synonyms

. it is important to know how to educate our

children

Use synonyms

correctly so youngsters can develop their empathy towards others.

for instance

Linking Words

, because of

parents

Use synonyms

’ business, they avoid spending

time

Use synonyms

with their son or daughter so

children

Use synonyms

nowadays will follow the trends to fulfil their leisure moments at home

such

Linking Words

as playing fun as a famous option for them. One way to address

this

Linking Words

situation is to provide quality

time

Use synonyms

between

parents

Use synonyms

and their

children

Use synonyms

, by giving physical and social activities. Many young people experience loneliness because their

parents

Use synonyms

do not provide enough opportunities for social interactions.

For instance

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

who frequently engage in outdoor fun or family activities tend to develop better communication skills and higher self-confidence.

As a result

Linking Words

, they will feel more secure in social situations.

This

Linking Words

approach will

also

Linking Words

help

parents

Use synonyms

become more aware of their

children

Use synonyms

's future needs and foster a stronger family bond.

To conclude

Linking Words

, playing video games results from a lack of parental

time

Use synonyms

and environmental influence. I personally believe providing quality

time

Use synonyms

for family can decrease

this

Linking Words

phenomenon.

Submitted by ymasdya96 on Sat Jan 18 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples or data to support your points, especially how video games affect societal behaviors and individual development.

coherence cohesion

Work on developing more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas more clearly and fluently.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, addressing the topic of video games and their societal impact directly.

logical structure

You've clearly identified and explained the lack of parental involvement as a potential cause of video game addiction.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
as result of electronic inventions such as the computer television people do less physical activity and this is having a negative effect on their health. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
Electronic inventions such as computers, televisions, and game consoles are very entertaining. However, some people believe that these inventions cause less physical activity and have negative effects on human health.
5.5
band
The plans below shot the site of an airport and how it will look after redevelopments next year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
The plans display the airport's current features and redevelopment features for next year. ,
5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Regarless of where you live, what yo do, it is extremely important to understand the environmar that surrounds you, including to people you lived around , the community you stayed, and the building you inhabited.
5
band
Forests are the lungs of the Earth. Destruction of the world's forests amount to death of the world, we currently know. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Trees are the backbone of the earth. They need to be conserved because they play a vital role of enhancing the rainfall and they prevent soil erosion. This essay agrees that the overcultivation needs to be tamed at all cost.
6
band
As countries develop, people tend to buy more and more cars. Do you think the advantages for the individual outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?
The disputes about choosing a specific subject or exploring other subjects have been becoming a topic of discussion in the education field, particularly in the University. Some students want to specialise in the main subject only, and some are excited to explore by dedicating their time and focus to other courses.

Most people are worried about young children playing video games, what problems might these games cause as a whole to society and individuals? What solutions can you suggest to reduce these problems.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

as result of electronic inventions such as the computer television people do less physical activity and this is having a negative effect on their health. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

The plans below shot the site of an airport and how it will look after redevelopments next year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Forests are the lungs of the Earth. Destruction of the world's forests amount to death of the world, we currently know. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As countries develop, people tend to buy more and more cars. Do you think the advantages for the individual outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?