IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that that working at home is beneficial to the worker and the family while others believe that it is stressful to both the worker and the family. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is argued that having an opportunity for distance employment is beneficial for the well-being of the employees and their
families
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others think that it does not create a comfortable place for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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both of them. The first statement is an important factor for the workers to have more
time
Use synonyms
 to spend with their
families
Use synonyms
, I believe that in-person workplaces are the most fundamental factor in creating good relationships with co-workers
,
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apply
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 and getting hands-on experience. On the one hand, it is known that employed individuals have much more responsibilities since they might have to look after their
families
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,
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 and pay the bills, and
consequently
Linking Words
, they might not have enough
time
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 to spend with their
families
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, or themselves.
This
Linking Words
 is to say, some of them come back
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
home
Use synonyms
 very late, or they might feel very rushed and exhausted to create a valuable space with their
families
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, if they would
had
Change the verb form
have
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 a chance to continue their employment from
home
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, they might connect with their
families
Use synonyms
 better. In
this
Linking Words
 case, they could use the lunch
time
Use synonyms
 at
home
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, or they would not allocate extra
time
Use synonyms
 on the way
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
home
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the statistics of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Columbia University,
the
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apply
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70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of workers could build
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
 with their
families
Use synonyms
, and create a self-space better than others.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is a fact that working from a comfortable zone might make you a lazy person as you would not want to interact with others.
As a result
Linking Words
, they can miss to have better opportunities that their peers can give them. I believe that having good networking, especially with co-workers, can make people even more
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the companies are informed about up-to-date changes, and being in the office is a significant side of getting more knowledge, and using them to gain experience.
For instance
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 full-
time
Use synonyms
 jobs create a hybrid work style, the internship positions have to be completed from the office because it is important to keep in touch with the real experience. In conclusion, online
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 could help people to develop relationships with their
families
Use synonyms
, I support the idea that in-person jobs are much more valuable.

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task response
Ensure clear distinctions between the arguments presented, and aim to present both sides with equal depth before stating your opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance clarity in the presentation of ideas and arguments, ensuring each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next.
coherence and cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, and both are present and relevant.
task achievement
Good use of examples to illustrate points, especially the statistics from Columbia University.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Remote work
  • Telecommuting
  • Work-life balance
  • Productivity
  • Flexibility
  • Isolation
  • Distractions
  • Customized work environment
  • Work encroachment
  • Communication challenges
  • Family bonds
  • Traditional workplace
  • Time management
  • Personalized workspace
What to do next:
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