Some people say success in a person’s life as an adult is the result of the way he was brought up by his parents. Do you agree or disagree?
There is no denying the fact that
parents
play a crucial role in their Use synonyms
children
's success. Use synonyms
While
it is a commonly held belief that Linking Words
mother
and Correct article usage
a mother
father
success Change noun form
father's
lives
Verb problem
apply
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
in
their Change preposition
apply
child
's life, there is Use synonyms
also
an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that Linking Words
parents
affect Use synonyms
kids
lives.
Change noun form
kids'
kid's
To begin
with, both of the Linking Words
parents
are working hard to secure their Use synonyms
child
's future. Use synonyms
In other words
, they provide financial resources for their Linking Words
child
's educational quality and high standards in schools, which can be set as foundations of success way. Use synonyms
In addition
, Linking Words
parents
teach their Use synonyms
children
many things, Use synonyms
such
as motivation, determination, and different types of skills. Linking Words
For example
, Linking Words
according to
King Ali University, all successful people learn plenty of things from their families.
Another point to consider is that Linking Words
parents
help their Use synonyms
children
to choose their field in university. It is Use synonyms
also
possible to say that Linking Words
children
are influenced by their Use synonyms
families
careers and want to be like them, Change noun form
family's
families'
such
as actors' kids; the majority of them want to be famous like their mother or father, like Linking Words
celebrity
Ali, who is a famous actor, Correct article usage
the celebrity
such
as his father, Ahmed. Linking Words
Moreover
, some Linking Words
children
want to achieve their Use synonyms
Use synonyms
parents
dream. Change noun form
parent's
parents'
For instance
, I went to medical school for three years Linking Words
due to
my mom wanting me to be a doctor in the future, and I worked in it.
In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that a Linking Words
child
's successful life is a result of their family working hard and Use synonyms
good
upbringing Correct article usage
a good
of
their Change preposition
for
child
.Use synonyms
Submitted by mnm_234 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on refining the logical structure in your essay. While the main points are clear, connecting them with more explicit linking phrases would enhance the flow and make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
You might consider diversifying your examples to include a range of influences beyond family that affect success, such as education, peers, or personal effort. This would provide a more comprehensive view and strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
You've successfully included a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively set the context and summarize your argument.
task achievement
The essay clearly states your opinion and supports it with examples, demonstrating a clear understanding of the task.