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Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, the government prioritises economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

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In many nations, governments give precedence to economic growth over other issues. The advantages of
this
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 are that
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of employed residents will
increase
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 and residents’ standards of living will be improved.
However
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,
this
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 can cause serious environmental problems and
health
Use synonyms
 problems. One major benefit of prioritising economic development is that
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of employed citizens will significantly
increase
Use synonyms
.
In other words
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, countries, where their economies are growing, require substantial workforces to produce sufficient supplies of goods in order to meet markets’ demand.
As a result
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, more and more citizens are in employment.
Moreover
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,
this
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 will
also
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 offer citizens a better quality of life.
This
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 is because, when economies are growing, governments will gain more taxes from trading and can spend them on people’s welfare.
For example
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, Singapore has improved its economy over the
last
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 40 years.
As a result
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, Singaporeans have excellent public transport and a well-organised
health
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 care system.
On the other hand
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, focusing only on economic development results in serious environmental damage.
This
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 is because, manufacturing processes generate CO2 and other fumes, sewage, and industrial waste which are released to environments and cause air, water and soil pollution.
Furthermore
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, industrial pollution will negatively affect people’s
health
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 by precipitating respiratory diseases
as well as
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 some types of cancer.
For example
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, Beijing, a big city in China, is facing smog which comes from manufacturing and incomplete combustion of logistic vehicles.
This
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 leads to an
increase
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 in the number of asthma-exacerbated patients.
To conclude
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,
while
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 prioritising economic development will result in an
increase
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 in employment and a better quality of life, the serious downsides that come with
this
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 are environmental pollution and residents’
health
Use synonyms
 issues.

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task achievement
While the essay provides a complete discussion of both advantages and disadvantages, further depth or additional points could enhance your argument and provide a more comprehensive response.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples and points remain concise and directly relevant to reinforce your argument. Some expansion or clearer linkage of ideas could have further clarified your overall position.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your conclusion by summarizing the entire discussion succinctly, potentially suggesting a balanced perspective on economic growth within your concluding remarks.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, presenting both sides of the argument with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph flows well into the next, maintaining coherence throughout the essay.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as Singapore and Beijing, effectively illustrates the points made, enhancing the relevance and specificity of the argument.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • quality of life
  • standard of living
  • infrastructure development
  • employment opportunities
  • environmental impact
  • wealth disparity
  • modernization
  • sustainable development
  • Gross Domestic Product (GDP)
  • industrialization
  • ecological footprint
  • capital investment
  • urbanization
  • economic prosperity
  • fiscal policy
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