IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people think it is better for children to grow up in the city,while,other thinks that life in the countryside is mor for them. discuss both views.

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of
Change preposition
apply
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people
Use synonyms
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that it is good for
kids
Use synonyms
 to get older in the
city
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 argue that
life
Use synonyms
 in the
countryside
Use synonyms
 is more appropriate for them. In my opinion, I believe that both views are equally important. On the one hand,it is believed by some
people
Use synonyms
 that it is very fabulous for
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
 to grow up in the
city
Use synonyms
. In fact, living in
cities
Use synonyms
 allows the
perents
Correct your spelling
parents
 to have more
chanse
Correct your spelling
chance
chances
 to attend their
kids
Use synonyms
 in perfect highly education schools.
Moreover
Linking Words
, highly
education
Replace the word
educated
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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promote
abundance
Add an article
the abundance
an abundance
show examples
 of excellent  materials and books for the students. A study published
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 New York University in 1999 concluded that living in
development
Replace the word
developed
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 helps
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
perents
Correct your spelling
parents
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
rais
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 their
Use synonyms
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
show examples
 education and knowledge.
As a result
Linking Words
, staying in
cities
Use synonyms
 gives the
perents
Correct your spelling
parents
golden
Correct article usage
a golden
show examples
 opportunity to select
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
 educational
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
 for their
kids
Use synonyms
. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, other
people
Use synonyms
 argue that it is more greater for
kids
Use synonyms
 to stay in towns. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
,
life
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 is comfortable and enjoyable for
smallest
Correct article usage
the smallest
show examples
kides
Correct your spelling
kids
 because they live their childhood in
a peace
Remove the article
peace
a feeling of peace
a sense of peace
a wave of peace
show examples
 without any
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
 of technology.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is very
necessery
Correct your spelling
necessary
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents to
avoide
Correct your spelling
avoid
 technology
sach
Correct your spelling
such
 as Ipad and
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
 far away from
thier
Correct your spelling
their
Use synonyms
kids
Change noun form
kid's
kids'
show examples
 eyes. A study published
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 Muscat University in 2000 concluded that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
children
Use synonyms
 who do not use technology tablets are more
talent
Replace the word
talented
show examples
 and clever.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
, living in
a towns
Correct the article-noun agreement
a town
towns
show examples
is help
Wrong verb form
helps
show examples
 to make our
children
Use synonyms
 live their childhood period in fulfilling. some
people
Use synonyms
 consider it is amazing for
children
Use synonyms
 to grow up in the
city
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others disagree and say that
life
Use synonyms
 in the
countryside
Use synonyms
 is more
gorgoeas
Correct your spelling
gorgeous
 for them. Living in
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 helps the parents to choose
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
perfect
shcools
Correct your spelling
schools
school
 for
the
Change the word
their
show examples
children
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 it is
enjoyment
Replace the word
enjoyable
show examples
 for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
kids
Use synonyms
 to enjoy their
chilahood
Correct your spelling
childhood
 without
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. In my opinion,
Use synonyms
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 a happy
life
Use synonyms
 for every child and
also
Linking Words
 it is
advantage
Replace the word
advantageous
show examples
 to stay in a
city
Use synonyms
 to get
a higher schools
Correct the article-noun agreement
a higher school
higher schools
show examples
.

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task achievement
Improve grammar and sentence structures to enhance clarity. For instance, words like 'fabulous' can be more specifically related to education benefits.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words to enhance the logical flow within paragraphs, such as 'additionally' or 'consequently’.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, use specific data or case studies when referring to studies.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in vocabulary and avoid repetition. For example, 'kids' and 'youngs' could be streamlined to refer to the same group.
task achievement
Shows understanding of both sides of the argument, addressing positives of both city and countryside living.
coherence cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion, clearly indicating personal opinion and overviewing discussed points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban environment
  • diverse opportunities
  • cultural experiences
  • educational facilities
  • career prospects
  • convenient transportation
  • sense of community
  • natural beauty
  • clean air
  • peaceful atmosphere
  • close-knit community
  • limited resources
  • lack of cultural activities
  • lack of educational opportunities
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • less social interaction
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