IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The best way to measure someone’s success is to look at how much money that person has. • Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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I strongly disagree that the best way to measure someone's success is to look at how much check a person has,accomplishment can be defined in many ways.
therefore
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, we should focus on other factors to fall in love with the long life, In the end, I will discuss
this
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 question and express my own perspective.
Firstly
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, can not target achievement in
this
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 for individuals just because he has a lot of dollars.
For example
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, s strong relationship with your family is better than the opposite with only funds,
in addition
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, a teacher who inspires students may feel successful
also
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, bodies who have good health feel enthusiastic and they have somethings can not pay with the whole world's cash because
money
Use synonyms
 can pay facilities
such
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 as food and entertainment but can not pay
overall
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 health in long live.
Secondly
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, someone
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has
ignores
Wrong verb form
ignored
show examples
 many crucial aspects of life and set up with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
,
while
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 characters who work in fields
such
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 as sciences and arts whom to make significant things in a particular state and they do not earn enough salary but they feel successful,
Moreover
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 related to the love and good sound came from people around them. The inventor how discovered a cure for difficult diseases but he did not catch wealth
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
he felt successful
besides
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 healing people. In conclusion, capital
money
Use synonyms
 can not be a measure of success, and there is no denying the fact that
money
Use synonyms
 can be a way to achieve advancement, but there are
may
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
 categories that can not be ignored,
such
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 as knowledge infrastructure which can build your life better than
money
Use synonyms
 alone.

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clarity
Make sure your ideas are expressed clearly and comprehensively. In some areas, the ideas are not completely clear and cause confusion.
specific examples
Try to provide more specific and relevant examples to better support your arguments.
logical structure
Improve your logical structure by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly and connects to the main thesis of the essay.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, effectively framing the essay.
task response
You've addressed the task and formed an argument about why money should not be the sole measure of success.
perspectives
The essay touches on various important perspectives, such as family and community value, beyond wealth.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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