IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The bar chart shows the average number of hours per week that men and women spend doing activities around the home.

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The diagram illustrates the average number of
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 that both genders spend doing activities around the home. As an overview, the highest average number of
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 that
men
Use synonyms
 spent was watching television
whereas
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 wasted their time by cooking. In surfing the internet, watching the television, and gardening,
men
Use synonyms
 were the highest at that
whereas
Linking Words
cooking
Change preposition
in cooking
show examples
, cleaning the house, washing up, and reading,
women
Use synonyms
 were the highest at that. In surfing the internet,
men
Use synonyms
 wasted 13
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 only spent 4
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 on that.
However
Linking Words
, in cleaning the house,
women
Use synonyms
 were the highest at that, as they wasted 5
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 only spent 2
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 on that.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, week, men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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