IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays the way many people intract with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationship that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development.

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Recently, technology has played a vital role in altering the way that many
people
Use synonyms
 communicate with each
other’s
Change noun form
other
show examples
, as it has replaced physical interaction with online communication.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
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, social connections with family and friends were strongly impacted by
this
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. In my view, I believe that the drawbacks of
this
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 phenomenon outnumbered its benefits as the lack of face-to-face interaction
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 affected relationships and led to mental health problems
to
Change preposition
for
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 many individuals.
While
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 technology has made communication among
people
Use synonyms
 faster and easier,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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it has impacted
the
Correct article usage
apply
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regular
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
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 communication.
People
Use synonyms
 use social media platforms to connect
instead
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 of visiting each other’s at home.
For example
Linking Words
, social networks like Facebook, WhatsApp and Instagram enable
people
Use synonyms
 to talk with each
other’s
Change noun form
other
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 at any time during the day without having to reschedule for an outing.
Although
Linking Words
 online networks should have connected
people
Use synonyms
 easily,
however
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, it actually
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 disconnected them. The lack of physical interaction has weakened relationships as they have become
short term
Add a hyphen
short-term
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 relations, which resulted in many physiological problems
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many individuals.
For instance
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, studies show that many
people
Use synonyms
 in recent years have
mental
Add a missing verb
had mental
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 health issues like depression because they feel lonely and isolated as they do not have true friendships anymore. In conclusion,
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
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 of many
people
Use synonyms
 have
changes
Change the verb form
changed
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 because of technology, they used to visit each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
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 talk and laugh, but now they connect online by any of the social
platform
Change to a plural noun
platforms
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.
Consequently
Linking Words
, many individuals suffer from depression because they are unable to form true friendships anymore.

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coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a logical progression of ideas.
task response
Try to support claims with more specific examples or data to enhance the argument.
language
Proofread to identify and correct grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.
task response
The essay effectively identifies and explains both positive and negative impacts of technology on relationships.
coherence
An introduction and conclusion are both present and properly frame the discussion, providing a clear thesis and summary.
task response
The argument highlights the mental health consequences of reduced face-to-face interactions, which adds depth to the discussion.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interact
  • global connectivity
  • social media platforms
  • real-time communication
  • online dating apps
  • telecommuting
  • remote work
  • in-person interactions
  • video calls
  • instant messaging
  • long-distance relationships
  • digital communication
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