IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many universities students live with their families, while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations?

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In recent years,some
universities
Change the noun form
university
show examples
students
Use synonyms
live
Wrong verb form
have lived
show examples
 with their families, but others
live
Wrong verb form
have lived
show examples
 away from
home
Use synonyms
 because their universities are in different places. I
wouid
Correct your spelling
would
 like to talk about the advantages and disadvantages of both situations. For the advantage
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 live with their families,
their
Correct word choice
and their
show examples
 family members can take care
them
Change preposition
of them
show examples
.They
also
Linking Words
 can spend time with parents,
such
Linking Words
 as watching
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
 shows,doing housework or talking.It can keep the love.
For the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
disadvantage
Replace the word
disadvantaged
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 live with their families,they do not have freedom.It is because parents will look for them and give them many rules.
For example
Linking Words
,do not eat snacks,do not drink
milktea
Correct your spelling
milk tea
 and sleep earlier.
Students
Use synonyms
 can not feel free to do everything. For the advantage of
live
Change the verb form
living
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 away from
home
Use synonyms
,
students
Use synonyms
 could come to university quickly because they live near the school.They can save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time to do other things,
such
Linking Words
 as finish homework,sleep or play computer games.The important
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
 is that they will not be late. For the advantage of
live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
 away from
home
Use synonyms
,
students
Use synonyms
 can improve their self-control and
independent
Replace the word
independence
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.
students
Use synonyms
 need to do everything by themselves.
For example
Linking Words
,wash clothes and cook dinner.It
canhelp
Correct your spelling
can help
 them to learn different skills
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 take care
.
Change preposition
of.
show examples
 For the disadvantage of
live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
 away from
home
Use synonyms
,parents will miss and worry about their children.Because they do not know what
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their child.They can not
saw
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
 so they call and send messages to
students
Use synonyms
.It will improve the feeling of
worries
Fix the agreement mistake
worry
show examples
. Both situations have different advantages and disadvantages,
we
Correct word choice
but we
show examples
 can choose the better one for
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
.

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task achievement
Your essay covers the main points well, but ensure to elaborate more on each advantage and disadvantage for a complete response.
task achievement
Try to provide more detailed and specific examples to fully support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and develop your ideas logically for better coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying sentence structure and using transitional phrases to improve the flow between your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which nicely frames your discussion.
task achievement
You have successfully identified both advantages and disadvantages of students living at home and away from home.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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