IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on the works of their own countries instead of the works of art from other parts of the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #museums #art #galleries #works #countries #parts #world
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There is
on
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no
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 denting the fact that Learn other cultures is crucial.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that, Some people think that museums and
art
Use synonyms
 galleries should concentrate on the
works
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 of their own countries
instead
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 of the
works
Use synonyms
 of
art
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 from a global world, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, It is true that some people believe that museums and
art
Use synonyms
 galleries should focus on local history and
art
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 rather than international
works
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.
To begin
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 with, More cultural work.
In other words
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, cultural
works
Use synonyms
 from many different countries and cities around the world.
In addition
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, Knowing the history of other
countsri
Correct your spelling
countries
country
.
For example
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, Learn Egyptian culture like knowledge of the Egyptian method of building the pyramids and mummifying the dead.
Submitted by rayanalmunif on

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task achievement
Improve task response by addressing the prompt more directly and clearly stating your position. Expand your support with additional arguments and provide more developed examples.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by establishing a clearer logical structure with distinct paragraphs. Ensure that sentences are more interconnected and transitional phrases guide the reader through your points.
topic relevance
The essay presents a topic of global cultural significance and initiates a discussion about the role of museums and art galleries.
use of examples
An example is provided (Egyptian culture and pyramids) to support the discussion, demonstrating an attempt to add a practical angle to the student's ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • National identity
  • Creative economy
  • Artistic diversity
  • Cultural exchange
  • Global perspective
  • Art curation
  • Nationalist pride
  • Tourist attraction
  • Cultural preservation
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