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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph show teh number of tourists viositing a particular carribiean island between 2010 2017. Summarize the information by selecting main feature and make comparison where relavent.

The graph show teh number of tourists viositing a particular carribiean island between 2010 2017. Summarize the information by selecting main feature and make comparison where relavent.
#show #teh #tourists #carribiean #island #information #feature #comparison #relavent
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The line chart presents the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
(divided into who staying on the
island
Use synonyms
 or staying on cruise ships) to a
aspecific
Correct your spelling
specific
show examples
Carribiean
Correct your spelling
Caribbean
island
Use synonyms
 from 2010 to 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
,the total
number
Use synonyms
 of tourists increased over the given period .
Although
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
stayin
Correct your spelling
staying
 on cruise ships was
little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
, it gradually
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 to overtake the
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 . At the onset, between 2010
until
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2016 the
number
Use synonyms
 of total
guest
Change to a plural noun
guests
show examples
 rose gradually with
steady
Add an article
a steady
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 between 2014 to 2016 around 2.6
million
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 sharply increased to
peak
Add an article
a peak
show examples
 of 3.5
million
Use synonyms
visitor
Change to a plural noun
visitors
show examples
 in 2017. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who
staying
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 on cruise ships
were fluctuate
Change the verb form
were fluctuated
were fluctuating
show examples
 between 2010 and 2013 .
However
Linking Words
, they increased through
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 (2013-2017) to overtake the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who
staying
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the given area.
Although
Linking Words
visitors
Use synonyms
 who
staying
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 on
Carribiean
Correct your spelling
Caribbean
island
Use synonyms
 were stable between 2010 and 2011 with almost 0.7
million
Use synonyms
 ,it increased gradually to remain steady
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 1.5
million
Use synonyms
 during 3
yrars
Correct your spelling
years
 (2013-2015). Now the
number
Use synonyms
 who stay on
Use synonyms
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 with 1.5
million
Use synonyms
 .
Submitted by youmnamaher91 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, island, visitors, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 3 times.
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