IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity? N

#rise #world’s #population #humanity #time #n
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Nowadays increasing
population
Use synonyms
 of the world is the biggest
problem
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 for humanity. I absolutely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that it has many
couse
Correct your spelling
causes
 of continued rise, which we will discuss in the next paragraphs.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
this
Linking Words
 time we have many causes
of
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for
show examples
continued
Add an article
the continued
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 rise of
people
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.
Such
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 as we have a lot of families from before
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
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 new pairs.
For instance
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,
according to
Linking Words
 the news in 2008
in
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apply
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the world was approximately 3
billion
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 pairs and now
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the proportion increased to 1.5 .
And like
Correct word choice
Like
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Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in 2009 number of
population
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 6.8
billion
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 and at the moment up to 8
billion
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people
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. I believe that if in the future more parents our
population
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 will increase. I agree
with
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apply
show examples
that improving our
population
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 number is the main
problem
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. If
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of
people
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continued
Wrong verb form
continues
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 to go up , we will have problems
such
Linking Words
 as land shortage, the disease increases.
For example
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, by world
statistics
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statistics,
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 China has 1.4
billion
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people
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 in their country. And for
them
Correct your spelling
the
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area
Correct your spelling
are
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 if China is not enough. They
leave
Correct your spelling
live
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 in a small apartment their road
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also
Add a missing verb
is also
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 too thin.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Africa
also
Linking Words
 has
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problem
Add an article
a problem
show examples
 like China's. In their country lives
above
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over
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 1.5
billion
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people
Use synonyms
 and for
them
Add a comma
them,
show examples
 space
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 enough to live or to work. I believe that if our
population
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continued
Wrong verb form
continues
show examples
 to soar possible land shortage.
To conclude
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,
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 number will
give
Verb problem
pose
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 a big
problem
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 for
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. I believe that we should control
this
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 to prevent
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
serious problems.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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coherence
To enhance clarity in your essay, ensure each paragraph delves into a single clear idea and avoids jumping from one point to another abruptly.
task achievement
Consider expanding on the examples provided. Instead of merely stating statistics, explain their significance and how they connect to your argument.
language
Pay careful attention to grammar details such as subject-verb agreement and proper tense usage to enhance the precision of your writing.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, adhering to the expected structure of an IELTS essay.
argumentation
You successfully present a viewpoint and maintain a stance throughout the essay, which is crucial for task achievement.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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