IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph gives information about the consumption of fast food (in grams per week), in the UK from 1970 to 1990

The graph gives information about the consumption of fast food (in grams per week), in the UK from 1970 to 1990
#information #consumption #food #grams #week #uk
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The given line graph illustrates the changes
of
Change preposition
in
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feeding
Correct article usage
the feeding
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behavior
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behaviour
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 of Australian young adults, over the past
a
Correct article usage
apply
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quarter of a century. Annual eating count.
Overall
Linking Words
, the consumption of fish and chips decreased over the period given,
while
Linking Words
 for pizza and hamburgers, it rose. At the start of the period, fish and chips were the most popular, which was replaced by pizza from 1991 to 2001, and following that hamburgers became the most widely used ready-to-eat food in the final
year
Use synonyms
. With regards to the amount of fish and chips used, it began at around 100 pieces
of
Change preposition
apply
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per
year
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
 gradually decreased
at
Change preposition
to
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 80, after that falling dramatically to about 40 in the
last
Linking Words
 years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the consumption of pizza only started in 1975 at about a very small proportion, during the two decades dramatically increased,
at
Change preposition
to
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 82 pieces per
year
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
last
Linking Words
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
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 amount
unchanged
Add a missing verb
was unchanged
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.
Likewise
Linking Words
, approximately a tiny
fractions
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fraction
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 of hamburgers was eaten in the first
year
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 after which
the
Correct your spelling
this
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 rapidly increased in the first decade reaching more than 80 portions,
last
Linking Words
 fifteen years it peaked at 100 bites per
year
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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