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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

This graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country.

This graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country.
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The line graph below illustrates the percentage of recycling for four different materials throughout the
years
Use synonyms
 1982 to 2010. At first glance, we can see that the most recycled material throughout
this
Linking Words
 timeframe was paper & cardboard, keeping the highest percentage at all time, ranging between 65 and 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In the meantime, plastics were only being recycled
5
Change preposition
by 5
show examples
to 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
although
Linking Words
its
Change the word
this
show examples
 trend has been steadily increasing. Paper & cardboard started the year 1982 with a recycling
rate
Use synonyms
 of 65%,
figure
Correct article usage
a figure
show examples
 that fluctuated a little for the next 8
years
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, from 1990 to 1994 the
rate
Use synonyms
 had a steep 15% increase, going from the same 65% in which it started
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 to a peak of 80%. From there, its proportion of recycling started a constant 2.5% decrease every 4
years
Use synonyms
.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, by 2010 its percentage of recycling was 70%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, plastics’ first recorded recycling
rate
Use synonyms
 started at a mere 5% in 1990.
Although
Linking Words
, there is a steady increase of about one
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 every 4
years
Use synonyms
, which means it is
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a positive trend.
This
Linking Words
 is reflected in its final
rate
Use synonyms
 of almost 10% recorded in 2010.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, rate with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • recycled
  • materials
  • percentage
  • paper and cardboard
  • glass
  • plastic
  • metal
  • stable
  • noticeable
  • rise
  • significant increase
  • accounting for
  • consistent
  • ste steadily
  • dramatically
  • nearly
  • worth noting
  • relatively low
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