IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information be selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparison where relevant.

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information be selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparison where relevant.
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The two pie charts illustrate the proportion of
reasons
Use synonyms
 for cycling and driving to
work
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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health and fitness and less pollution accounted for the largest proportion
in
Change preposition
of
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reasons
Use synonyms
 for cycling to
work
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the percentage of
comfort
Use synonyms
 of
automobile
Fix the agreement mistake
automobiles
show examples
 represented 40%. Looking at the charts in more detail, the
reasons
Use synonyms
 why individuals travel to
work
Use synonyms
 by bicycle were health and fitness and less pollution. The figures for three sections (no parking problems; no costs; faster than driving) were lower than 20%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the most compelling reason for driving to
work
Use synonyms
 was
a
Correct article usage
apply
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comfort
Use synonyms
. Because the proportion of
comfort
Use synonyms
 accounted for 40%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the percentage of distance to
work
Use synonyms
 was observed at 21%.
Other
Correct article usage
The other
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 three sections (faster than cycling; need to carry things to
work
Use synonyms
; safer than cycling) were lower than 15%. In conclusion, the main
reasons
Use synonyms
 for cycling to
work
Use synonyms
 were
an
Correct article usage
apply
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exercise and
a
Remove the article
apply
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reducing pollution,
while
Linking Words
 the big reason for driving to
work
Use synonyms
 was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
comfort
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words reasons, work, comfort with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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