IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

What are the causes of water shortages? Please also offer some solutions to this problem. Give some reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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사람들이 너무 낭비해서? 자연을 보존하지 않아서? Recently, the issue of
water
Use synonyms
 shortages has become the subject of heated debate, raising concerns among people. In the following essay, the causes of
water
Use synonyms
 shortages will be discussed alongside relevant examples before a conclusion is reached with my solution. The most common cause is that most people don't prioritize
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 preservation.
For instance
Linking Words
, when they wash their hands and brush their teeth, they always used to open the
water
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. Even if they don't need too much
water
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.
In addition
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, many people don't think that
water
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 is valuable. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they can see
water
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 anywhere and anytime. One effective solution to mitigate
this
Linking Words
 issue is to incorporate education about
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 preservation into school
curricular
Replace the word
curricula
show examples
. By teaching students, they can develop an understanding of its importance from an early age.
This
Linking Words
 early exposure not only raises awareness but
also
Linking Words
 fosters lifelong habits, reducing
likelihood
Add an article
the likelihood
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 of
water
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 shortages.
Therefore
Linking Words
, education at
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 level plays a crucial role in mitigating
this
Linking Words
 problem in the long term. In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are a variety of problems
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 topic.
However
Linking Words
, after considering
this
Linking Words
 matter in a careful manner, it can be
conclused
Correct your spelling
concluded
 that implementing educational
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 can reduce these concerns.

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task achievement
Try to expand on your examples and make them more specific and relatable. For instance, provide data or statistics from recognized sources or describe common scenarios contributing to water wastage.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be improved by using linking words and phrases to better connect ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively set the stage and wrap up your discussion.
task achievement
You provided a reasonable solution that involves education, highlighting the importance of teaching younger generations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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