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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many workplaces, online communication is now more common than face-to-face meetings. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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Holding new meetings, whether for
business
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 or simply for offering services to customers, is replacing the traditional form of
communication
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. The upsides outperform the downsides
due to
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 more
time
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 efficiency and lower cost of
business
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 maintenance. At-home jobs can increase the
overall
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 outcome of
people
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 involved in online
communication
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 mainly because it can eliminate the amount of
time
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 commuting to work. In fact, almost every day,
people
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 should plan in advance to reach their workplace
while
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 avoiding traffic jams.
This
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 phenomenon, which is pervasive in most countries, can fill
people
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 with
shock
Correct article usage
the shock
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 and stress of arriving late,
thus
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 shortening their quality
time
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.
However
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, performing daily tasks at home through online platforms can save some
time
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 for
people
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 to do their jobs
while
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 taking some rest, as well. A clear example would be the growing number of overseas companies in Iran that try to employ
people
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 working from their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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 and offer services to clients through only social platforms to avoid
time
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 waste
,
Correct word choice
and, hence
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hence
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 more profit for them.
Furthermore
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,
communication
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 through the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 can highly reduce the
overall
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 budget for businesses to run their company without paying a lot of money. Indeed, online apps can provide
business
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 managers
an
Add the preposition
with an
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 atmosphere to communicate with their customers without any intermediate.
This
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 practice
,
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apply
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 would make managers
to
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apply
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consider recruiting more workers and less money spent on unnecessary tasks.
For instance
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, running a company would cost a person at least 1 million dollars in European countries, and they should think
over
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about
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 the amount of tax and other financial situations.
Nevertheless
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, they can establish their own
business
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 online and not only
would
Verb problem
apply
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gain more profit but can employ more jobless individuals.
To conclude
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, many managers now seek to use online
communication
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 rather than the obsolete ways, namely
face to face
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face-to-face
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 interaction, and
this
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 practice not only can raise the quality
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time
Change preposition
of time
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 spent but
also
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 a lower plan to
further
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 their job efficiently.

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task achievement
While your essay presents well-rounded arguments supporting the advantages of online communication in the workplace, consider addressing counterarguments for a more balanced view. This would strengthen your task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied sentence structures and linking words to enhance overall coherence and maintain a smooth flow of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument about online communication in the workplace.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant examples that effectively illustrate your points, particularly the example of overseas companies operating in Iran.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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