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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The following two pie charts show the results of a survey into the popularity of various leisure activities among European adults in 1985 and 1995. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The following two pie charts show the results of a survey into the popularity of various leisure activities among European adults in 1985 and 1995. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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These two pie charts illustrate the statistics from a survey that was conducted to gain information about the activities European adults did in their free time, in 1985 and 1995.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most common activity was watching TV
while
Linking Words
 other activity was the least preferred one.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in 1985 watching TV took the lead with 32
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 number dropped 2
percent
Use synonyms
 in 1995.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 was followed by talking with friends with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 proportion of 21.
However
Linking Words
, in 1995 a new category
arised
Correct your spelling
arose
raised
arise
 which was playing computer games and took
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place.
In addition
Linking Words
, there was only
1
Correct article usage
a 1
show examples
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 difference
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the time
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 PC games and talking to friends in 1995.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the ratio
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 talking to family
diclined
Correct your spelling
declined
 significantly. It
descented
Correct your spelling
descended
 from 18 to 7
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, talking to family was not the only activity that experienced drops. Eating out was strikingly lower for 1995, it
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 15%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the ratio
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 talking with friends increased by 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie chart
  • survey results
  • percentage
  • popularity
  • increase/decrease in popularity
  • constant
  • trend
  • individual activities
  • group activities
  • physical activities
  • non-physical activities
  • emerged/disappeared
  • decade
  • socio-economic shifts
  • cultural changes
  • influenced
  • leisure activity trends
  • proportion of time
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