IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now “one big traffic jam.” How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

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Nowadays, through the
last
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 three decades, the percentage of humans who have cars has risen sharply in many places around the world. So, in
this
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 essay, we will discuss the cause of increasing car ownership and what the government will do to reduce the traffic problem.
To begin
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 with, there are several reasons why people like to own cars. The fee class
help
Wrong verb form
helped
show examples
 us to move between places in a short
time
Use synonyms
.
However
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, means of transportation affect the environment and cause a lot of
problems
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 and damage ، especially affecting the climate.
For example
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, the smoke that comes out from those machines causes global warming, which causes many
problems
Use synonyms
 in our lives and our fresh air.
Also
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, when all humans use
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
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, they will spend more
time
Use synonyms
 on the way because of the traffic and
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 huge number of cars on the way. So,
this
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 will make them lose their
time
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.
On the other hand
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, the government should create laws and rules system to solve those
problems
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.
Firstly
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, the country builds another way of moving.
For instance
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, build the train stations to make people move quickly and save
time
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.
Secondly
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, people who have authority, must
Add a missing verb
have
show examples
a plan to fix the roads and add extra ways to reduce traffic. In conclusion,
while
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 there are arguments for having many machines that can harm our health and climate, I firmly believe that the government plan and create solutions to deal with these cases to avoid serious
problems
Use synonyms
 in future.
Submitted by emeya98 on

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task achievement
Make sure to use more specific examples to illustrate your points, which can help strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant details to improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good overall structure.
task achievement
You have addressed the main aspects of the task by discussing both the reasons for increased car ownership and potential government measures.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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