IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the relative electricity consumption and cost per year of various household devices. Write a 150-word report for a university lecturer explaining the data and making comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the relative electricity consumption and cost per year of various household devices. Write a 150-word report for a university lecturer explaining the data and making comparisons where relevant.
#bar #electricity #consumption #cost #year #household #devices #report #university #lecturer #data #comparisons
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The given chart
illustrated
Wrong verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the amount of electric energy that many families spend
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their domestic devices every year. It can be seen that
spa
Correct article usage
the spa
show examples
 is the most used item throughout the period as it has the majority of kwh. spent.
However
Linking Words
 the electric blanket was the least instrument preferred by families, its
cost
Use synonyms
reamined
Correct your spelling
remained
 almost zero. Throughout the graphic, there are several
item
Change the noun form
items
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 that almost doubled its
cost
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as the freezer, water bed heater, clothes dryer, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
washer machine. These reached an approximate
cost
Use synonyms
 of $83 every year.
In addition
Linking Words
, other domestic machines got minimal prices spent, like the electric blanket, microwave, television, dehumidifier, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
well pump; all these reach a
cost
Use synonyms
 above $42.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, two of these things
almos
Correct your spelling
almost
 tripled at fees over $125, these are the refrigerator and pool pomp.
In contrast
Linking Words
, households with a spa witnessed an
extremely
Replace the word
extreme
show examples
cost
Use synonyms
 in their electricity bill as they spent almost five times
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the budget,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is over $166.
Submitted by oscarsanmo on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words cost with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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