The use of mobile phones is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phones should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Smart

Correct your spelling

Smartphones

show examples

phones

Use synonyms

are so popular in modern life at the moment,

hence

Linking Words

somebody

depends

Add the preposition

depends on

show examples

mobile

phones

Use synonyms

should be

ban

Wrong verb form

banned

show examples

in specific areas like

Remove the article

apply

show examples

public transportation

such

Linking Words

as smoking . I completely disagree

Change preposition

with

show examples

it. First and foremost, nowadays access

Change preposition

show examples

information is so easy, because of

phones

Use synonyms

. İf students have

a subjects

Correct the article-noun agreement

a subject

subjects

show examples

of lessons, they can use

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

with

smart

Correct your spelling

smartphones

show examples

phones

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, one survey shows,

the

Correct word choice

that the

show examples

biggest part of students do their

homeworks

Correct your spelling

homework

with

phones

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, they have

Change the article

show examples

oppurtunity

Correct your spelling

opportunity

to discover new knowledge.

To sum up

Linking Words

, screens can be

Rephrase

very

show examples

useful

to search

Change preposition

for searching

show examples

new

Change preposition

for new

show examples

things.

Secondly

Linking Words

, recently, communication is necessary

Change preposition

show examples

real life. When people

trading

Wrong verb form

trade

show examples

, they always use

phones

Use synonyms

. It is not only about commerce, but

also

Linking Words

academics and business

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

usually organize their

conferance's

Correct your spelling

conference's

time on

smart

Correct your spelling

smartphones

show examples

phones

Use synonyms

for say to mates.

For instance

Linking Words

, experts say "

when

Capitalize word

When

show examples

crowd

Correct article usage

the crowd

show examples

speak

somebody

Change preposition

to somebody

show examples

this

Linking Words

converisation

Correct your spelling

conversation

usually

happening

Wrong verb form

happens

show examples

on the

phones

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

phones

Use synonyms

have

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

role in public.

Moreover

Linking Words

, mobile

phones

Use synonyms

include many apps inside,

therefore

Linking Words

a lot of

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

of people spend their time with

Correct pronoun usage

their phone

show examples

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

Also

Linking Words

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

actions improve their

hormones'

Change noun form

hormones

show examples

rate,

hence

Linking Words

their productive

porcion

Correct your spelling

portion

brain

Add an article

the brain

show examples

is developing.

Initially

Linking Words

, Minecraft

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

is affecting to

Wrong verb form

affect

show examples

creative skills and

imagiantion

Correct your spelling

imagination

ability

Fix the agreement mistake

abilities

show examples

, since many

teacher

Change to a plural noun

teachers

show examples

suggest

Change the verb form

suggests

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Minecraft for kids.

Initally

Correct your spelling

Initially

proffesors

Correct your spelling

professors

depend

Change preposition

show examples

puzzle games

Change preposition

for

show examples

children's growing process. So, mobile

phones

Use synonyms

can increase

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

creative part

Replace the word

creativity

show examples

. In conclusion, mobile

phones

Use synonyms

have huge benefits but smoking

don't

Change the verb form

doesn't

show examples

have any good side to

human'

Change noun form

human

show examples

health and success.

türkoğluahmetonurThu Jan 23 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that your ideas are fully developed and well supported with examples. Some points in your essay could benefit from further explanation and evidence.

task achievement

Work on enhancing the clarity of your arguments. Some sentences can be made clearer to improve the reader's understanding.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas logically within each paragraph to improve the overall flow of your essay.

introduction conclusion present

You effectively introduced the essay and provided a clear stance on the topic.

logical structure

You have made a good attempt to structure the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
50
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

253 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
The only way to improve safety on our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. What extent do you agree or disagree
Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about measures to ensure road safety. However, whether imposing stricter penalties for driving oﬀenses is the only way to protect people is still a controversial issue. Although I agree that harsher punishments can act as an eﬀective way to deter people from committing road offences, I believe that there are better methods to protect the welfare of road users.
6
band
In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms. ‏Do you think this should this be enforced in all schools?
Undoubtedly, school uniforms are a symbol of discipline and present school reputation. In many ,nations school students require to wear uniforms. Now the question is whether this should be made mandatory in all organizations or not. In my ,perspective it should be compulsory to wear school dress. I will discuss the reasons in the upcoming paragraphs to support my opinion.
7.5
band
Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people strongly believe that the use of books in schools should be replaced with modern technologies such as films, computers and games. From my point of view, these materials are indispensable and they are the best way to obtain some new knowledge; however, studying by technology devices is also a good way for the progress of students in the present time.
6.5
band
Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in their hometown. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
A lot of individuals would prefer to travel overseas to study a foreign language rather than learn in their hometown. In my opinion, this occasion can provide a clean environment for their country. However, they can not go back. So, there are some kinds of benefits and drawbacks.
6
band
Write a reply to Daisy. In your email, you have to tell her that you really like the photos and the time you got together, describe a problem you had at the airport to her and suggest the time and place for the next trip.
It’s great to hear from you. It’s good to know you’re back home and fine at work.

The use of mobile phones is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phones should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The only way to improve safety on our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. What extent do you agree or disagree

In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms. ‏Do you think this should this be enforced in all schools?

Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in their hometown. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Write a reply to Daisy. In your email, you have to tell her that you really like the photos and the time you got together, describe a problem you had at the airport to her and suggest the time and place for the next trip.