IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say the fashion industry is bad for the environment, as it encourages consumers to buy new clothes all the time. Do you agree or disagree? Keywords: fashion; environment Type: Agree & Disagree

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According to
Linking Words
 some,
industry
Correct article usage
the industry
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 of fashion
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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 the
environment
Use synonyms
 negatively and it leads to
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
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 in sales
due to
Linking Words
 the reason
of
Change preposition
apply
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people
wanting
Wrong verb form
want
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brand new
Add a hyphen
brand-new
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clothes
Use synonyms
. I firmly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. I believe that the need for following the trends
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to over-consumption of
clothes
Use synonyms
 and in the production process lots of waste occurs. To even produce a piece of clothing, lots of effort and material goes into it. Most of the time, factories use cheap
metariels
Correct your spelling
materials
such
Linking Words
 as nylon to produce more
clothes
Use synonyms
 in a shorter amount of time. To elaborate, these are the
materiels
Correct your spelling
materials
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 that do not dissolve in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature for years.
For instance
Linking Words
, a clothing company not only harm humanity with its child workers but
also
Linking Words
throw
Correct subject-verb agreement
throws
show examples
 their trash
such
Linking Words
 as plastic, unnecessary waste, etc., harming the
environment
Use synonyms
 beyond our imagination.
In addition
Linking Words
, people feel the need to buy new clothing just because they feel like they need to follow the trends and wear what is popular.
This
Linking Words
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to over-consumption.
Consequently
Linking Words
, companies manufacture more products.
In other words
Linking Words
, factories are working more than ever and the side effects of
this
Linking Words
 situation cannot be underestimated.
For example
Linking Words
, a plant that
run
Change the verb form
runs
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 all day releases tons of toxic chemicals and carbon emissions into the atmosphere.
Thus
Linking Words
, causing problems like air pollution. In conclusion,
fashion
Add an article
the fashion
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 industry is not beneficial for the
environment
Use synonyms
. Companies harm the
environment
Use synonyms
 just to earn more money.
According to
Linking Words
 me, people should decrease the amount of
clothes
Use synonyms
 they buy to
say
Verb problem
put
show examples
 an end to
this
Linking Words
.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Strengthen the logical connections between your points to improve the overall flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Include more detailed examples to support your arguments and provide a complete response.
Task Achievement
Clarify certain phrases for greater comprehension, and ensure they precisely convey your intended ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've introduced and concluded your essay well, providing a clear stance on the topic.
Task Achievement
The examples provided effectively illustrate your main points, particularly concerning the environmental impact of factories.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fast fashion
  • Overconsumption
  • Landfill
  • Resource intensive
  • Carbon emissions
  • Microplastics
  • Textile manufacturing
  • Raw materials
  • Cotton production
  • Biodegradable
  • Sustainable fashion
  • Pollutants
  • Water pollution
  • Synthetic fibers
  • Marine life
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