IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn. Agree or disagree?

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In
this
Linking Words
 present world, in many
countries
Add a comma
countries,
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 students are undergraduates and don'
t
Use synonyms
 have enough knowledge. Some
people
Use synonyms
 including me believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 those who don'
t
Use synonyms
 have enough knowledge should learn
while
Linking Words
 others argue about it.
To begin
Linking Words
, the governments taking
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
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 for
Use synonyms
Add an article
the eduction
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eduction
Correct your spelling
education
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 of many
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
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however
Linking Words
,
mind
Add an article
the mind
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 is something that money can'
t
Use synonyms
 buy
for example
Linking Words
 the government created spaces
to
Change preposition
for
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 learning
whereas
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who are lazy made another story to not to study. Creating new
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 to learn new
Use synonyms
eduction
Correct your spelling
education
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 isn'
t
Use synonyms
great
Add an article
a great
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 solution but
instead
Linking Words
, if the government taught
people
Use synonyms
 to
being
Change the verb form
be
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 disciplined and dedicated, society would find
motivation
Add an article
the motivation
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 to explore.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
eduction
Correct your spelling
education
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 is not a simple thing that can be learned in one day, there are few solutions for
whose
Correct your spelling
those
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cannot
Correct pronoun usage
who cannot
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 read or don'
t
Use synonyms
 want it either as a matter of fact, if the system of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
eduction
Correct your spelling
education
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make
Verb problem
apply
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cut it into smaller tasks and show the
people
Use synonyms
great
Add an article
the great
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 reward of being educated
this
Linking Words
 would be helpful them to learn and inspire individuals.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I believe that,
inspire
Replace the word
inspiration
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 to study completely depends
to
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society but, it would be great if the government
take
Wrong verb form
took
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 control of that, so it
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be easy and fun to explore new lessons.

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task response
Focus on improving the clarity of your arguments. Ensure each paragraph clearly addresses a specific point related to the topic.
task response
Work on developing your ideas further. Provide more in-depth examples or explanations to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Aim to enhance the structural flow of your essay. Consider using linking words or phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the main arguments you will discuss, and your conclusion effectively summarizes these points.
task response
You've shown an understanding of the topic, highlighting the importance of learning and education in society.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your discussion well.
task response
You have touched upon significant societal factors affecting education, such as government role and individual responsibility.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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