Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There is no denying the fact that these dyes,
more
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and more
show examples
products
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contain high levels of
sugar
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, as far as we all know
that
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apply
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eating too much
of
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apply
show examples
sugar
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provide
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provides
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too much of health problems in future
for
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apply
show examples
individuals. some
people
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hold the view that
price
Correct article usage
the price
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of
sugar
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categories
require
Wrong verb form
is required
show examples
to be more expensive to provide
people
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use less of sweets stuff and being healthy lifestyle. In my perspective, I support and I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
statement, It is because
this
Linking Words
is the best way to bring some beneficial effects to
people
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. On the one hand, the price of
sugar
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products
Use synonyms
increase will lead
people
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to the willingness to
avoide
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avoid
purches
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purchases
purchase
sugar
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facilities
that is
Linking Words
mean
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means
show examples
decline
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a decline
show examples
Use synonyms
people
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in people
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buying,
while
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it is like that and the price all
ready
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already
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increase
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increased
show examples
people
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will
starts
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start
show examples
thinking, if they can buy
the
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apply
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those things they will
rethinking
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rethink
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about
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
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sugar
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products
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,
in other words
Linking Words
, families will depends on prefer to buying more health food and
incurages
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encourages
encourage
their children to avoid sweets
intertainment
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entertainment
,
becaues
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because
they have
enugh
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enough
to buy any things not only high
sugar
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prouducts
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products
.
In addition
Linking Words
, more and more
people
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enjoy
buing
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buying
being
sugare
alternitves
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alternative
alternatives
products
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,
this
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trend
wil
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will
lead
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
and dirnks
manufacture
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manufacturers
show examples
to assist science and technology to solve
Linking Words
this
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these
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massive issues and
this
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trend will make
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a different
show examples
different
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difference
show examples
in their food fhuture to be in
positive
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a positive
show examples
way.
therefore
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,
this
Linking Words
thing will promote economic development, as
Japan
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Japan's
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country side
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countryside
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have
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has
show examples
a lot of healthy
people
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.
Morover
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Moreover
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should put policies to
supports
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support
show examples
alternitves
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alternatives
alternative
category development. In
conlusion
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conclusion
,
people
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shuld makesure
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should make sure
to
be have
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have
show examples
good dite because
this
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will have a significant effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
ther
Correct your spelling
the
their
boody
Correct your spelling
body
in the end.
Submitted by hassan.alhayek11 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. Use linking words to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Focus on developing your main ideas with more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments.
language
Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors to improve clarity and accuracy.
task achievement
The introduction presents a clear position on the issue of making sugary products more expensive.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a final thought on maintaining a good diet.
task achievement
The essay contains some relevant observations about the impact of sugar pricing on consumer behavior and health.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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