In the past many, people had skills such as making their own clothes and doing repair to things in the house. In many countries, nowadays, skills like these are disappearing. Why do you think this change is happening? how far is this situation true in your county?

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As generations pass and cultural purposes are not as valued as it was back
then
Linking Words
, a lot of skills like that are slowly disappearing. As our world continues with various trends, more and more people forget about the cultural aspect of our world, only focusing on social media, propaganda, etc. The importance of culture is really high, not only does it reflect on our history, but reflects on what we are built from and how
did
Verb problem
apply
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we
come
Wrong verb form
came
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to
this
Linking Words
world. As a proud citizen of Vietnam,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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believe Vietnam's cultural values are still here, but slowly eroding away and
would
Wrong verb form
will
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only continue if we
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
preserve
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Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
Submitted by trungnh283 on

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task achievement
To enhance your response, try to provide more specific examples that illustrate the disappearance of traditional skills. You could mention technological advancements, changes in lifestyle, or education shifts.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from a clearer introduction and conclusion. Consider framing your response with an opening statement about the topic and a summarizing sentence at the end.
task achievement
You raise a culturally relevant point about the impact of social media and propaganda on traditional skills and values.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains some logical progression of ideas related to cultural erosion and its causes.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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