IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The data depicts the range of activities the UK unemployed did
last
Linking Words
 year. The data differentiates them by
gender
Use synonyms
 and time.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were four popular activities they tended to do despite their
gender
Use synonyms
 and time: house chores, shopping, job hunting, and visiting acquaintances. Almost half of
women
Use synonyms
 did housekeeping in the morning
last
Linking Words
 year. Unlike the opposite
gender
Use synonyms
, only approximately one in five men did it at the same time.
This
Linking Words
 activity ranked the most popular among jobless
women
Use synonyms
. Other than doing homemaking, shopping was
also
Linking Words
 a popular activity for both men and
women
Use synonyms
, with 20% and 22% respectively. In the afternoon, most females still chose to do house chores,
while
Linking Words
 guys preferred watching TV or gardening. Drinking was the least activity people did regardless of
gender
Use synonyms
, with less than five people out of 100.
Similarly
Linking Words
, playing sports was not a popular option either.
Although
Linking Words
 4% of men did it in either morning or afternoon, only 1% of
women
Use synonyms
 chose to exercise.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words gender, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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