IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #location #dance #classes #people #town #australia #summarise #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given graphs
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the data on
place
Correct article usage
the place
show examples
 and kinds of
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
teenage
Correct article usage
the teenage
show examples
 community in a city in Australia
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 actively participating
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
 
Overall
Linking Words
, the site of
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 happens in community
halls
Use synonyms
, school
halls
Use synonyms
, college-based studios and private studios.
While
Linking Words
 the categories of
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 by age
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
 are ballet, tap and modern. 
To begin
Linking Words
 with, most young people enrolled at private
stuidos
Correct your spelling
schools
, it is 48 per cent among
classes
Use synonyms
.
Furhtermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, 24% of teenagers
are attending
Wrong verb form
attend
show examples
dance
Use synonyms
partices
Correct your spelling
parties
 at school
halls
Use synonyms
 after
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
school finishes and 18% of all
location
Fix the agreement mistake
locations
show examples
 is community
halls
Use synonyms
 and others.
In addition
Linking Words
, a small part of young society
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 currently studying,
accordingly
Linking Words
 10%.
According to
Linking Words
bar
Add an article
a bar
the bar
show examples
 chart, the most
prefferred
Correct your spelling
preferred
 class for children who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 under 11 is ballet, for 11-
16 years old
Correct your spelling
16-year-old
 people
this
Linking Words
 is modern and the amount of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 attending these
classes
Use synonyms
 is
Linking Words
accordingly
Rephrase
approximately
show examples
 600, approximately 510.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the least chosen class is modern among
youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
show examples
,
ballet
Correct word choice
and ballet
show examples
 among older children. The number of young humans is 300 for both.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "accordingly".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words dance, classes, halls with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • attending
  • currently
  • location
  • variety
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • jazz
  • venues
  • popularity
  • attendees
  • juxtaposing
  • correlating
  • proximity
  • cultural influences
  • trends
  • anomalies
  • monopoly
  • proportion
  • distribution
  • enrollment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: