Directors of large oraanizations have much higher salary than ordinary emplayees do. Some people think it's necessary, but others are Of the opinion that it's unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Ordinary employees
work
Use synonyms
hard and they earn less money than directors of large companies, and it can be unfair. On the one hand, directors establish companies for themselves, that’s why they can earn a lot of money in their careers.
However
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, being a leader requires a lot of responsibility because they should manage their workers and pay them well wages.
For example
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,
film makers
Correct your spelling
film-makers
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need many ideas and creativity to make 1 movie. After that, they should find talented actors and teach them about their scenarios. After actors have done their
work
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, movie makers pay them high salaries.
For
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this
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reason, they can earn more money.
On the other hand
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, workers should be well paid because they do more physical
work
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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builders. They carry heavy concrete and they
work
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day and night
then
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they sleep less.
In addition
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, they may have more working hours because If they do their
work
Use synonyms
faster they can get paid faster.
As a result
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, they
work
Use synonyms
harder to get
well
Correct word choice
good
show examples
wages. In conclusion, in my opinion, Directors should have much higher payment because they must pay wages to employees.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Enhance your argument development by discussing why higher salaries for directors might motivate employees.
task achievement
Provide more balanced examples to support both viewpoints and strengthen your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to clearly connect ideas between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions; some ideas jump without smooth transitions which can confuse the reader.
task achievement
The essay presents both perspectives on the topic, showing a balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion clearly states and supports your opinion, wrapping up the argument succinctly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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