In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, big
cities
Use synonyms
are more facilitated and they
are offering
Wrong verb form
offer
show examples
hundreds of job opportunities. So it is not
suprising
Correct your spelling
surprising
that rural people tend to move to these megacities, seeking a better life condition.
As a result
Linking Words
, the population in the countryside is decreasing and I think it is a negative development. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will propose my opinion and try to draw a conclusion. The immigration of the suburban population to the large
cities
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
may cause some important issues as each city has a certain capacity. Some problems like traffic congestion and air
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
will be
magnifyed
Correct your spelling
magnified
when the number of citizens is increased.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
can lead to a huge dissatisfaction for the ones that were previously living there. The other negative point is a decrease in
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
products. Most of these rural people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
used to be farmers and provide fruits and vegetables for the
cities
Use synonyms
. As they are moving to the
cities
Use synonyms
, there would be a downturn in the production rate and it can cause a significant rise in the price of farm goods which is a bad circumstance in the country’s economy.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is always a need for service jobs in the
cities
Use synonyms
as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educated citizens refuse to do them.
Although
Linking Words
working as a restaurant waitress or a house servant
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not need an experienced worker, they are well-paid. On
this
Linking Words
condition, these rural employees can be a good choice to fill the demand.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
is not a great deal as students are mostly looking for a
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
job and they can join these positions.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
cities
Use synonyms
are facing a huge increase in their population
due to
Linking Words
their good condition and services. In my view,
this
Linking Words
can have a serious effect on the air quality and
also
Linking Words
a rise in the price of organic products.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To enhance task response, consider incorporating more specific examples to illustrate and support your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure clear transitions between paragraphs and ideas to improve logical structure.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the topic and your opinion.
task achievement
You address multiple aspects of the issue, demonstrating a comprehensive grasp of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: