IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of peoples salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools . Others feel that taxes are a bad thing .

#people #governments #proportion #peoples #salaries #services #roads #schools #taxes
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should take a big part of
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 to pay for public services like roads, schools, and hospitals. They say
this
Linking Words
 is important because without
taxes
Use synonyms
, the
government
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 can’t build or fix roads, or pay for good schools. They believe that everyone should give
money
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 to the
government
Use synonyms
 so that things like roads, hospitals, and schools are good. If
people
Use synonyms
 don’t pay
taxes
Use synonyms
, these things won’t be there and society will suffer. So,
people
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 who agree with
this
Linking Words
 think
taxes
Use synonyms
 are good because they help the country to grow and improve the quality of life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are
people
Use synonyms
 who think
taxes
Use synonyms
 are bad. They feel that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 take too much
money
Use synonyms
 from the
people
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 and
don’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn’t
show examples
 always use it wisely. Some say that they work hard for their
money
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 and shouldn’t have to give too much to
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
. They feel that
taxes
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 make life more difficult for
people
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 because they have less
money
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 to spend on their own needs.
Also
Linking Words
, some
people
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 think that the
government
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waste
Correct subject-verb agreement
wastes
show examples
money
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 on things that
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 important, and
this
Linking Words
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them angry. They feel that
taxes
Use synonyms
 should be lower and
people
Use synonyms
 should have more control over their own
money
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, some
people
Use synonyms
 think it is necessary for
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to take a big part of
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 to help improve public services, but other
people
Use synonyms
 think
taxes
Use synonyms
 are unfair and bad. Both sides have their reasons for believing what they do. It is hard to decide which opinion is better because
taxes
Use synonyms
 help the country but
also
Linking Words
 make
people
Use synonyms
 feel like they have less
money
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by akbarsurya264 on

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relevant specific examples
Try to provide specific examples for both viewpoints to strengthen your argument. This will enhance the relevance of the points you are making.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a logical progression of ideas to improve the coherence of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which makes it easy for the reader to follow your main argument.
complete response
The viewpoints have been covered with fairness and have been presented in a balanced manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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