Human activity has damaged the environment all around the world. Some people think that humans cannot stop damaging the planet where as other believe that we can alter our behavior and prevent future damage. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#activity #environment #world #people #humans #planet #behavior #future #damage

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Some individuals think that they let their bad doings disturb the

ecosystem

Use synonyms

on earth, but others claim that actually the bad habits can be changed to protect the disaster in the next generation. I believe both opinions have their own reasons. For me personally, since technology and knowledge are always developing,

hence

Linking Words

it can support the way we behave. Nowadays, there are many works depending on the earth. To illustrate

this

Linking Words

, as we know, our government's income is mostly from the State-owned Enterprises'

dividend

Fix the agreement mistake

dividends

show examples

. One of the biggest SOEs is

Pertamina

Use synonyms

. As a SOE,

Pertamina

Use synonyms

is required to create profitability. In fulfilling

this

Linking Words

command, it does mining as

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

core business.

Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

work, there

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

always

many

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

deforestations

Fix the agreement mistake

deforestation

show examples

, the water waste which are

impacted

Wrong verb form

impacts

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the unbalanced

ecosystem

Use synonyms

. Animals lost their homes, and the global warming rate increased.

However

Linking Words

, I

also

Linking Words

believe, we can solve

this

Linking Words

issue by developing a sophisticated technology. Individuals are getting smarter now, they are compatible enough to think wisely.

For instance

Linking Words

, there is a new methodology of eco-friendly economics, namely ESG (environment, social and government). ESG is being implemented in other countries. Actually, we may invite the ESG expert, Government and Researchers to state

this

Linking Words

methodology as a concrete policy in our country. As a policy, a huge firm like

Pertamina

Use synonyms

must be concerned about renewable resources. These two solutions allow

Pertamina

Use synonyms

to flip its business cycle into eco-friendly activities,

hence

Linking Words

automatically the

ecosystem

Use synonyms

will always be stable. In conclusion, all individuals might have different views about the causes of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

environmental damage. Some will think that it has happened because of our bad habits in the

ecosystem

Use synonyms

. Whilst, others think, they can protect the earth by having the development of technology and a better mindset.

Submitted by nadiadijaaisiya on Fri Jan 24 2025

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task achievement

Improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Some sections are slightly confusing or lack depth in explanation. Try to elaborate more on your points for better understanding.

task achievement

Strengthen the support for your main points. While main ideas are present, they need more examples or evidence for better support.

coherence and cohesion

Work on maintaining consistent cohesion across paragraphs. Pay attention to the logical flow of ideas across the text.

coherence and cohesion

Clear introduction and conclusion are present, providing a solid framework for your essay.

task achievement

The essay presents a well-structured response, addressing both sides of the argument effectively.

coherence and cohesion

The use of specific examples, like the reference to Pertamina, helps in illustrating points and making the argument more relatable.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

environmental protection
irrevocable damage
deforestation
public awareness
renewable energy
sustainable farming
conservation efforts
recycling
reducing waste
governmental responsibility
corporate responsibility
sustainability
concerted global effort
collective level

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Human activity has damaged the environment all around the world. Some people think that humans cannot stop damaging the planet where as other believe that we can alter our behavior and prevent future damage. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Nowadays , distance- learning programs have gained in popularity , but some people argue that online courses can never be taken as good as those taken at college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think we should keep all the money we earn and not pay taxes to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good member of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Describe an invention that changed people's lives. What it does (or, how it it used): How popular it is among people of different ages: And explain why (or how) you think it changed people's lives: