Some people believe that the governmet should support artists like musicians painters and poets while others argue that this is misuse of founds. Discuss both of views and give your opinion.

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Some citizens think
Correct word choice
that, government
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
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government
Add an article
the government
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allocates money from
budget
Add an article
the budget
show examples
for art which
are supporting
Wrong verb form
supports
show examples
painters, poets,
musicans
Correct your spelling
musicians
and others. Meanwhile, other people believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
supporting financially to artists is just useless.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss and explain in detail.
Additionally
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why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
accounte
Correct your spelling
account
accounted
this
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method more
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
successfully
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if society supports artists, it will help to develop our traditional art. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they can create well-known works, their compositions can be directions and
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
for future
genaration
Correct your spelling
generations
generation
or the world. As, we are using old
genaration
Correct your spelling
generation
which are Mozard,
Beethowen
Correct your spelling
Beethoven
,
leonardo
Change the capitalization
Leonardo
show examples
da Vinchi and others.
However
Linking Words
,
same
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the same
show examples
situation
was happened
Change to the active voice
happened
has happened
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our
Change preposition
during our
show examples
national statehood we know,
all
Change preposition
for all
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the period
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period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
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in history,
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
always supported art. That's why, Nowadays, around the world
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
study Alfraganus,
Avisenna
Correct your spelling
Avicenna
, Alisher Navoi, Kamoliddin Bekhzod and others.
In contrast
Linking Words
, some individuals think that
this
Linking Words
is just
misuse
Add an article
a misuse
the misuse
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of
founds
Correct your spelling
funds
show examples
. These
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of people may be
realist
Fix the agreement mistake
realists
show examples
,
as well as
Linking Words
they prefer to
spent
Change the verb
spend
show examples
Correct article usage
the goverment's
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goverment's
Correct your spelling
government's
budget
other
Change preposition
on other
show examples
industry
Fix the agreement mistake
industries
show examples
like education, buildings or sports. They hope
believe
Add the particle
to believe
show examples
that,
special
Add an article
the special
show examples
industry can be
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
benefits
for all society.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task response
Ensure a clear and comprehensive response to all parts of the task, including your opinion. Moreover, maintaining a balanced approach by exploring both perspectives thoroughly can enhance task response.
coherence and cohesion
Organize ideas with clear paragraphs. Using linking words and phrases effectively will help to create a smooth flow. Ensure that each paragraph transitions logically to the next, contributing to overall coherence and cohesion.
task response
Include relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, this will strengthen the discussion and make your opinion more convincing.
task response
You have presented both views in the discussion, which is important for a balanced essay.
coherence and cohesion
There is an attempt at an introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the essay structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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