Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren. While others say that elderly people should been couraged to live independently. Consider the possible argument on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion.

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The issue of whether
grandparents
Use synonyms
should live with their extended family is partly a question of the traditions of different cultures or nationalities.
However
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, the question of affordability
also
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plays an increasing part, and so
this
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debate is rather complex, as we shall see. On the
first
Correct word choice
other
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hand, those who support the idea of
grandparents
Use synonyms
living with their children point to the higher level of emotional support which all family members may receive in
such
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situations,
for example
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in times of crisis
such
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as bereavement.
Furthermore
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, it is
also
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true that personal security may be increased, offering protection against
such
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problems as accidents and even robbery.
Finally
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, it seems that extended family life will
also
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be considered less costly,
for instance
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with lower food and utility bills, meaning that enjoyment in life may be higher.
By contrast
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, supporters of
grandparents
Use synonyms
living independently often state that elderly people should be encouraged to be as self-reliant as possible, as
this
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boosts their self-esteem and may guard against mental decline in old age. They
also
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say, with some merit, that many younger families these days do not have the housing space, or indeed the spare time, which is necessary to care properly for older members. As a
last
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point, it is
also
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true that many
grandparents
Use synonyms
prefer to see their grandchildren on a less frequent basis (as opposed to every day), making these visits more special and cherished for all concerned.
Overall
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, It appears to me that the stronger argument is in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
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of
grandparents
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living independently, with all the advantages of self-reliance and separate space.
This
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is provided that their health and fitness allow them to continue living separately, without the risk of the fear of isolation.
Submitted by shafaeat.shoaib on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on the examples to make them more specific and varied, which would strengthen your arguments further.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain a natural flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
coherence cohesion
Your arguments are well-structured and logically presented, allowing the reader to follow your reasoning easily.
task achievement
The essay thoroughly covers possible arguments on both sides, demonstrating a balanced view.
task achievement
Your reasoning is clear and ideas are comprehensive, providing a deep perspective on the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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