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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below presents the percentage of the global market share of notebook computer sales for manufacturers between 2006 and 2007

The table below presents the percentage of the global market share of notebook computer sales for manufacturers between 2006 and 2007
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Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, HP company held the largest part of the market share
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 Fujitsu-Siemens got the smallest section in both years. Each brand showed a slight increase and decrease in market share and the other unnamed companies slightly decreased their sales.
At
Change the preposition
In

The preposition At may be incorrect. Consider changing it to a different preposition.

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 the beginning, most users chose HP's electronics accounting for 31.4 per
cent
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 and 34 per
cent
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in 2006 and 2007 respectively. It was clear that Fujitsu-Siemens significantly lost 2 times compared to the first selling in 2006. In 2007, The number of consumers buying Dell grew significantly at 3.8 per
cent
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 but Toshiba
rise
Wrong verb form
rose

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb rise. Consider changing it.

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 only 1.1 per
cent
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Lenovo and Acer factories became less popular and Fujitsu-Siemens had the lower margin among brands.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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