The table below presents the percentage of global market share of notebook computer sales for various manufacturers between 2006 and 2007.

#percentage #market #notebook #computer #sales #manufacturers

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Overall

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, HP held the largest

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of the

market

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while

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Fujitsu-Siemens had the smallest

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in both years. Each brand showed either a slight increase or decrease in

market

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while

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other unnamed companies experienced a slight decline in sales.

This

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data highlights the fluctuating trends in the notebook

market

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during

this

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period. In 2006, the majority of users chose HP's products, which accounted for 31.4%, increasing to 34% in 2007.

It is clear that

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Fujitsu-Siemens experienced a significant drop, losing about half of its

market

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compared to 2006, reflecting a clear shift in consumer preferences. In 2007, the number of consumers buying Dell increased significantly by 3.8%,

while

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Toshiba’s

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rose by only 1.1%.

However

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, Lenovo and Acer saw a decrease in their

market

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, and Fujitsu-Siemens had the smallest

market

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among the brands.

Overall

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, the data shows some notable shifts in the competitive landscape of the notebook industry.

Submitted by amittawin on Sat Jan 25 2025

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words share, market with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.

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5
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

152 words

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The table below presents the percentage of global market share of notebook computer sales for various manufacturers between 2006 and 2007.

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others ,however, Believe that school is the place to learn this. Discussion both these views and give your own opinion.

In today's societies, young people need more freedom to learn and explore the world on their own. others think that they learn from old people from their experiences and suggestion. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people use distance learning to study at home ,but some people think it cannot bring the benefit of attending collage or university. Do you agree or disagree?

Band-9 Samples: In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?