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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages s

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Some individuals choose to
stay
Verb problem
spend
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 most of their lives living near the place where they were born because it is difficult to adapt and communicate with
people
Use synonyms
 living in different parts of the world. The advantages of
this
Linking Words
 are
people
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 stay connected with their culture and the family. The reasons for staying closer to the birthplace are adaptability and communication. Different countries have different food preferences and climatic conditions,
for example
Linking Words
, Canada has harsh winters
whereas
Linking Words
, Africa has harsh summers so it can be challenging for both the
people
Use synonyms
 from either
places
Change to a singular noun
place
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 to adapt to the climate.
In addition
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,
language
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 plays an important role in communication. It is not easy to express thoughts and desires when the next person
do
Change the verb form
does
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 not speak
same
Change the article
the same
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language
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, creating an expression barrier.
For instance
Linking Words
, it can be difficult for an English speaker to communicate with the French
people
Use synonyms
 in Montreal because the primary
language
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 is French.
People
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 stay with their parents and grandparents when they live closer to the place where they were born. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 they spend more time with their family members who teach them values and ethics, they become aware of their culture and heritage.
For example
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, Kashmiri
people
Use synonyms
 who live with their moms and dads understand their native
language
Use synonyms
 Kashmiri,
while
Linking Words
 others may not.
In addition
Linking Words
, the bond between the family members becomes stronger as everyone shares love and care with each other. In conclusion, adaptability and communication difficulties are the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 why
people
Use synonyms
 want to stay near
to
Change preposition
apply
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their birthplace.
This
Linking Words
 not only creates a strong bond between the family but
also
Linking Words
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 them culturally aware.

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task achievement
Try to elaborate further on the disadvantages of living close to where one was born. A balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages will fully address the task.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Use transitional phrases to create a seamless flow of ideas and maintain coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good overall structure.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples to support the points mentioned, such as the climatic conditions in Canada and Africa, and the language barrier in Montreal.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
What to do next:
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