IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A glance at the graph provided reveals the proportion of tourists visiting four attractions in Brighton, Art Gallery, Pavilion, Pier, and Festival over 30 - year period between 1980 and 2010.

A glance at the graph provided reveals the proportion of tourists visiting four attractions in Brighton, Art Gallery, Pavilion, Pier, and Festival over 30 - year period between 1980 and 2010.
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This
Linking Words
 graph illustrates the data about the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of tourists who visited
touristic
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tourist
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 attractions in Brighton,
Correct article usage
the
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Art Gallery,
Use synonyms
Pavilion
Correct article usage
the Pavilion
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,
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Pier
Correct article usage
the Pier
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, and
Festival
Correct article usage
the Festival
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 between the years 1980 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
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Pavilion
Correct article usage
the Pavilion
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 was the most visited place
while
Linking Words
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Pier
Correct article usage
the Pier
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 had the least amount of guests. Except for
Use synonyms
Pavilion
Correct article usage
the Pavilion
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, other attractions were
midly
Correct your spelling
moderately
 stable throughout
this
Linking Words
 period. Looking at the data in greater detail, the biggest gap was between
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Pavilion
Correct article usage
the Pavilion
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 and
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Pier
Correct article usage
the Pier
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.
At
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In
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 the beginning,
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Pavilion
Correct article usage
the Pavilion
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 had
less
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fewer
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 visitors than
Festival
Correct article usage
the Festival
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.
However
Linking Words
, it increased gradually and took the lead with nearly 50%. Even though
Festival
Correct article usage
the Festival
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 started
as
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in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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first place by 30 per cent, it slightly decreased and almost stayed stable.
Art
Correct article usage
The Art
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 Gallery
also
Linking Words
 had a striking peak point which was in 1985. It climbed approximately 20 percent since 1980.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, in the following years, it
falled
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fell
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 significantly and dropped around 10 per cent. Meanwhile,
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Pier
Correct article usage
the Pier
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 remained
as
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apply
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the
last
Linking Words
 place that welcomed visitors. It began with 10 per cent and had some fluctuations. In summary,
Pavilion
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 took the lead
dispite
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despite
 its surges. Others had upwards and downwards but did not pass
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Pavilion
Correct article usage
the Pavilion
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pavilion, pier with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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