IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays,some individuals argue that being too friendly with fellow staff in our leisure time is makes lucrative idea
while
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 some people believe that we should totally differentiate between social relations and work relations.In my opinion,interacting with lots of individuals would be helpful because of different reasons In
this
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 essay, I will explain both views first and
then
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 I will state my opinion in the following paragraphs. On the one hand,making some good friends in our habitats has big number of beneficial aspects. Specifically,in the company,where many folks spend duty hours of the day,they need an environment without stress,discomfort,inconvenience and hardness,
thus
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,it is a good point to become familiar with other colleagues in spare time
such
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 as at the weekends or in the evenings.
Additionally
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,having a good balance between the members of a team has always resulted in effective and productive outcomes.
For example
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:Toyota proved that social interactions among co-workers were advantageous for gaining and increasing the better quality of products.
On the other hand
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,some issues related to cooperating with workmates have been reported by many organisations,over friendly with officemate causes the likelihood of favouring someone all the time at the office regarding the capabilities of his or her can make that they can't see the capabilities of hard-working fellow staff.
Besides
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,some employees may pressure the boss to hold for an increase in affairs
such
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 as salary hikes,promotion of duty and so on.
Therefore
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,it is evident that work-life mustn't be blended with regular life,
for instance
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: based on my experience which I had in my
last
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 job some of my workmates forced a manager to achieve their purposes unfairly but the manager could handle that situation by firing one of them who was a troublemaker. In conclusion:surely,an office place should be a pleasant and convival place to produce goods with higher quality for a company,
whereas
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,the remaining hours including weekends and nights should be used for other friends and people who are not working in their work place

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score in task achievement, focus on refining the clarity of your ideas. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all points are directly relevant to the question.
task achievement
Aim to provide more specific examples to support your points. Real-world examples can add depth and credence to your essays, thereby strengthening your argument.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay has a logical structure, you could enhance coherence by employing clearer transition phrases between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion.
task achievement
You address both sides of the argument, demonstrating a balanced approach to the task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical flow, with points generally well-organized.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cohesive work environment
  • work-life balance
  • renewed focus
  • interpersonal relationships
  • professional boundaries
  • fostering
  • blur the lines
  • burnout
  • networking opportunities
  • informal mentorships
  • career advancement
  • workplace dynamics
  • personal well-being
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