**"Some people think that it is better for children to grow up in the countryside, while others believe that living in a city is more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.**

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A large amount of people
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
that
this
Linking Words
is a good choice for the folks to grow up in smaller
areas
Use synonyms
. Others,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
are adamant
opponent
Fix the agreement mistake
opponents
show examples
of the same view claiming that city
life
Use synonyms
can give more benefits to the youth. I agree with the latter view as the cities have
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
range of
careers
Fix the agreement mistake
career
show examples
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
and they contain advanced facilities in every sector.
However
Linking Words
, the main benefits of the countryside are the low
pollution
Use synonyms
levels
Use synonyms
and a
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. To commence with, the major merit of the rural area is poor
pollution
Use synonyms
levels
Use synonyms
which can enhance
Linking Words
overall
Add an article
the overall
show examples
quality of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. The population in the small places are
minimum
Correct word choice
minimal
show examples
because the vehicles are
also
Linking Words
in limited number and
this
Linking Words
is directly
preportional
Correct your spelling
proportional
to the air
pollution
Use synonyms
and the noise
pollution
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another advantage is low stress
levels
Use synonyms
, as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
kind of
Use synonyms
areas
Fix the agreement mistake
area
show examples
is quite different in terms of expenses
such
Linking Words
as rent prices,
groceries
Correct word choice
and groceries
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
can decrease the tension
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the family, and children can get a healthy environment for their
upbrining
Correct your spelling
upbringing
.
For example
Linking Words
, the Port
hope
Capitalize word
Hope
show examples
is a beautiful small area which is free from
pollution
Use synonyms
and
hustle
Correct article usage
the hustle
show examples
of the cities, and
this
Linking Words
is a perfect place for the growth of any kid.
Conversely
Linking Words
, critics argued that the metropolitan
areas
Use synonyms
are a great choice for the offsprings and they give numerous reasons to support their point.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the major places offer advanced educational
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
to the children which can help them to fulfil their aspirations with the help of vibrant career
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, big cities contain extraordinary facilities in each and every sector
such
Linking Words
as 24x7 medical help, consistent public transit and different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of libraries.
For instance
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Toronto city has top universities, excellent hospitals,
a
Correct word choice
and a
show examples
big network of transportation like
subway
Correct article usage
the subway
show examples
, Go trains and the libraries with availability of almost every book and
this
Linking Words
makes
life
Use synonyms
easier and better for the
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
number of people think that village
areas
Use synonyms
are
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
option for youth because of minimal
pollution
Use synonyms
and stress
levels
Use synonyms
. But, others have the opinion that big places
offers
Change the verb form
offer
show examples
better education and other facilities which can enhance their
life
Use synonyms
. I strongly believe that the second option is a good choice for the upcoming generation because of many future options and for the easy
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by priyankapanwar251287 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct spelling errors such as 'beleive' to 'believe', 'oppotunities' to 'opportunities', and 'upbrining' to 'upbringing'.
Grammar
Try to use more varied and complex sentence structures to showcase a higher level of language proficiency.
Task Response
Consider elaborating a bit more on your personal opinion in the conclusion to strengthen your stance.
Structure
Good use of topic sentences to start each paragraph and guide the reader through the essay.
Task Achievement
Well-balanced discussion of both views with a clear position provided in the conclusion.
Task Achievement
Relevant examples were provided to support the main points regarding both countryside and city living.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: