IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people are doing shopping on the internet nowadays. disscuss th advantages and disadvantages of shopping online.

#people #internet #disscuss
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Shopping online has become a trend and now many people do e-commerce shopping. There are some advantages and disadvantages of
this
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. I will share both sides in the upcoming paragraphs. Online shopping has made life much easier. people can order their required items
while
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 sitting at home.
This
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 saves time and effort for individuals. To cite an example, a person can find all the items of different brands online on an app.
Also
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, they can apply filters to
price
Use synonyms
 , style and many more.
Moreover
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, in
this
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 advanced era, there are many sites that allow us to compare the
price
Use synonyms
 of the product
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different stores.
This
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 helps to save money and people can get the same item at a lesser
price
Use synonyms
. There are some consequences of shopping online one of them is missing physical touch. An individual cannot feel the quality of a product before buying,
due to
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 which they end up buying cheap quality items. Another major drawback is fraud, there are many sites which are fake and they record all the banking information that an online purchaser puts in making a payment.
To conclude
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, online shopping has some benefits like the variety of options and
price
Use synonyms
 comparison.
However
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, there is a lack of feeling during purchase and more chances of fraudulent activities
Submitted by chadhabhavika on

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task achievement
To improve task response, consider adding more specific examples to illustrate both advantages and disadvantages of online shopping. This would enhance the essay's depth.
coherence cohesion
To achieve higher coherence and cohesion, enhance the logical flow between paragraphs by using more linking words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain formal tone and avoid using colloquial expressions for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
You have included a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced view on the subject.
coherence cohesion
Points are clearly structured with separate paragraphs dedicated to different ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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