IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people think that the government should spend money to explore life in the outer space, while others think that this is a waste of public money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. (10th Jan) (AC)*

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The question of whether high authorities should pay
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 amount of
money
Use synonyms
in exploring
Change preposition
to explore
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 outer
space
Use synonyms
 or not. As many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that dedicating some funds to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outer
space
Use synonyms
 would be beneficial
while
Linking Words
 others think that public
money
Use synonyms
 will be wasted if it is being spent on outer
space
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should consider other important factors
such
Linking Words
 as education, unemployment and infrastructure before
spening
Correct your spelling
spending
opening
this
Linking Words
moeny
Correct your spelling
money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 outer
space
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, supporters of spending
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 on outer
space
Use synonyms
 believe that
life
Use synonyms
 can be possible on other planets except
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
, they clearly signify that research should be made to explore the other planets so that they can get rid
off
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the term overpopulation on one planet. In
this
Linking Words
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
 they can overcome other problems that
arises
Change the verb form
arise
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 overpopulation including, unemployment, lack of
infrastrucutre
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
, and accommodation problems.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they think that
money
Use synonyms
 should be spent on searching outer
space
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who think that allocating
Use synonyms
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
 budget for outer
space
Use synonyms
 will not be a good usage of
money
Use synonyms
 as they assert that there are other important factors which
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to be taken into consideration on
urgent
Correct article usage
an urgent
show examples
 basis. First of all, the problem of unemployment is rising day by day which is affecting many
people
Use synonyms
's lives by making them criminals to meet their demands as they are not able to find a proper source of income because of lack of education.
Secondly
Linking Words
, poor
infrastrucutre
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not being overlooked by
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 that
people
Use synonyms
 are facing many problems
such
Linking Words
 as going to work and it
also
Linking Words
end
Change the verb form
ends
show examples
 up
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
wasting their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 on the roads. In my opinion,
people
Use synonyms
's well-being is more important than searching for a
space
Use synonyms
. To clarify
this
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 in your country are not
finanacially
Correct your spelling
financially
 stable
due to
Linking Words
 which they are not been able to meet their basic requirements of food, shelter and clothing,
therefore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should not spend
money
Use synonyms
 on outer
space
Use synonyms
 ,
instead
Linking Words
, they should think about their country's citizens by providing them with basic needs.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spending
money
Use synonyms
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outer
space
Use synonyms
 is not
seems
Correct subject-verb agreement
seem
show examples
 to me a bad idea, but the
people
Use synonyms
 who are already
exisiting
Correct your spelling
existing
 and living on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
earth
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should be provided with
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 basic needs
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
life
Use synonyms
 before thinking
to spend
Change preposition
about spending
show examples
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 on anything else. If
people
Use synonyms
 in your country are happily living their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
then
Linking Words
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can do experiments and can take risks to use
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
money
Use synonyms
 for outer
space
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Ensure that all main points are balanced and equally supported with explanations and examples to enhance clarity and task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas more logically to establish a clearer structure throughout the essay. Using linking words and clear paragraphs can help with this.
task achievement
The introduction clearly sets up the two sides of the discussion and presents a personal opinion, providing a clear framework for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion appropriately summarizes the main arguments and restates the personal opinion effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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