IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given line graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 figures about
difference
Add an article
the difference
show examples
 in the
birth
Use synonyms
 and
death
Use synonyms
 rates in New Zealand from 1901 to 2101, over a period of 100 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 an upward
trend
Use synonyms
 in the
number
Use synonyms
 of the
death
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the amount of the
birth
Use synonyms
 showed an increasing
trend
Use synonyms
 until 2000,
then
Linking Words
 it
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 a downgrade
trend
Use synonyms
. Looking at the graph in more detail, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
birth
Fix the agreement mistake
births
show examples
 rose significantly, reaching 65 between 1901 and 1980.
However
Linking Words
, there was an ups and downs
trend
Use synonyms
 between 1980 and 2000. The noticeable feature is that the amount of the
birth
Use synonyms
drop
Change the verb form
drops
show examples
 to 42 from 2000 to 2101, with fluctuation. Turning to the
number
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
show examples
, it fluctuated between 1901 and 2001. But, since 2001, the amount of the
death
Use synonyms
 increased
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
 from 2001 to 2061.
Then
Linking Words
, it will have small variations between 2061 and 2101. To summarize, the most special figure is that the
number
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
show examples
 will be seen
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
first
Add an article
the first
show examples
 order.
This
Linking Words
 means that
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 will decrease in 2041.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words birth, death, trend, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.
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