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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity? What solutions can you suggest?

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Many species are experiencing extinction and bio-diversity is being lost
due to
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 human being's intervention in the ecosystem and in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature. There are several reasons for
this
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such
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 as the usage of
trees
Use synonyms
 and killing
animals
Use synonyms
 for their fur.
According to
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 me, if government can take action,
this
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 can be prevented. For many years, people cut down
trees
Use synonyms
 to produce goods
such
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 as paper. They
also
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 captured
animals
Use synonyms
 to make fur coats.
This
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 led to a decrease in the number of forests and put animal species in danger.
For instance
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, fur can be made out of only
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
 animal kinds and capturing these
animals
Use synonyms
unabled
Correct your spelling
enables
 them to reproduce.
Thus
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 they did not only die but
also
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 did not have the chance to continue their spicies.
Also
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, the reduction of plants and
trees
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 devastating effects on the ecosystem. They all have a purpose in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature and descent in their numbers causes problems
such
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 as less production of o2 or a rise in the temperature in the atmosphere. Governments could
put
Verb problem
pass
show examples
 laws and punishments to end
this
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 vital issue. Killing the
animals
Use synonyms
 could be banned and the number for cutting down the
trees
Use synonyms
 could be limited.
This
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 way,
animals
Use synonyms
 would not be in anger anymore and since
trees
Use synonyms
 will benefit the environment, bio-diversity will increase as well.
However
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, these regulations will not be enough on its own. People should raise their awareness about
this
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 topic and its vitality must be understood before it is too late. In conclusion, humankind is harming the environment and the consequences cannot be underestimated. To prevent any more damage, governments can create new regulations and punishments.

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coherence
To enhance coherence, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Consider using linking words like 'furthermore', 'in addition', or 'consequently' to enhance the flow of the essay.
task response
For a more comprehensive response, you could further explore other significant causes of biodiversity loss, such as climate change or pollution, and suggest broader solutions.
task response
Provide more detailed examples or case studies to back up your main points. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task response
The essay successfully outlines both the causes of biodiversity loss and proposes solutions, which is essential to address the topic comprehensively.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion and summarizing the main points.
task response
The essay attempts to link human activities to specific impacts on species and ecosystems, which adds depth to the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • habitat destruction
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • overexploitation
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • invasive species
  • conservation
  • sustainable practices
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • ecosystems
  • species population
  • genetic diversity
  • environmental awareness
  • protected areas
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