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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of males and females in
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 in Britain in three decades and whether they were pursuing full-time or part-time
education
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, females had a steady growth for studying part-time
education
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 males had a drop in
number
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 for pursuing
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
. Full-time studies continued to have a steady growth in both genders
,
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apply
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 but were very minute in
number
Use synonyms
 compared to part-time
education
Use synonyms
. In the academic year 1970/71, around a million
men
Use synonyms
 enrolled for part-time
education
Use synonyms
, whilst only around 700
thousand
Use synonyms
women
Use synonyms
 pursued the same. In 1980/81, a slight drop in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
men
Use synonyms
 studying part-time was seen to just above 800
thousand
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, an increase in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
women
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 pursuing part-time
education
Use synonyms
 was 800
thousand
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. In 1990/91, the
number
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 of
men
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 surpassed its
last
Linking Words
 academic record and rose to somewhere around 900
thousand
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of females enrolling for part-time
education
Use synonyms
 crossed a massive
number
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 to above 1 million. Concluding that it surpassed the highest
number
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 of
men
Use synonyms
 enrolling for part-time
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, full-time
education
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 was seen maintaining a steady growth in both genders. In the academic year 1970/71, almost 150
thousand
Use synonyms
men
Use synonyms
 enrolled for full-time
education
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,
however
Linking Words
 only a few
thousand
Use synonyms
women
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 enrolled for the same. In 1980/81 more
women
Use synonyms
 were seen than
men
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 enrolling for full-time
education
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 with numbers just below 200
thousand
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, eventually settling to the same amount of enrolment in the academic year 1990/91.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further, however, on the other hand".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, education, men, thousand, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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